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I have posted a lot this past month about my situation with my boyfriend. We broke up after a big fight, and now we are "dating" again, taking a step back and taking things slowly. I went to his place last weekend to have my bday with his parents and to discuss things with him. He didn't want to talk about it, and kept saying that he didn't want to be convinced as to why he should take me back and get back into the relationship again. At first I was really upset, and then I started to get angry because he spent the first two days rubbing his new-found freedom in my face and acting like he was being nice but trying to upset me. We eventually got into an argument and I told him I was really disappointed in his behaviour, and that I could at least walk away knowing that I had truly loved him and done everything I could to make it work. I told him I didn't want to be with him the way he now is anyway. We hung out as friends the next day, but he kept saying that he didn't want to lead me on, that he didn't love me like a gf anymore, and that he didn't know if/when he would want to get back together, that there was no one else though, he just didn't want to be in a relationship. So he went out with his friends that night and partied all night and I stayed at home with his folks. The next day I was busy all day helping his dog have her pups and it was quite traumatic (I work with animals) but his dog survived. Suddenly that night he decides we will go out for dinner for my bday (which he kept putting off all weekend). I was sitting on the couch while he was getting ready and he suddenly came over and wanted me to give him a back massage. I said no, that I wasn't his gf anymore. So then he started tickling me and trying to get me to laugh and then got up to finish getting ready. I was behind him and he suddenly turned around and kissed me. We ended up going out for dinner and talking and have agreed to try to rekindle things again without any pressures about what will happen next. We slept together that night but we didn't have sex. He says he doesn't want me to think that is why he is with me, and I don't feel he deserves it anyway. We had a good day together the next day and he has been calling me more, although he keeps mentioning things he is going to do with his buddies (I think to see if I object). I am being fine when he does call but I won't call myself. He asked me last night if I was going to my graduation in 3 months. I am getting my degree, but in order to attend I would have to stay with his family for 2 weeks, and I was planning on going back home across the country right away. He used to always say that he would be there even if I didn't go, but last night I asked him if he thought I should go and he said he didn't think it was a big deal, only to go if I want to. I feel like the only reason he said that is because he doesn't want me to stay with him for those 2 weeks. I just don't understand him...one day he tells me he doesn't love me, and the next he is all affectionate again and tells me he knows how valuable I am in his life. I was afraid he is just keeping me around till I move home in April but he swears he isn't, that we will do the long distance thing (I want to move closer to him but he says he isn't ready for that). I love him so much and I am trying my hardest to stop clinging to him, but it is so difficult to be with someone when you don't know how they feel. I feel like I need that soft place to fall and he is definitely not it at the moment, although he used to be. I want us to work things out, and I think the best thing to do is to give him his time and space and freedom, and to not plan ahead. I am still scared though, because I feel like there are two of him and I am not sure which one I am with at the moment. Guys, what is he thinking????





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