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hi all,
There was a problem with my account it wouldn't let me post so i had to re register anyway.
Some of you might remember me. I posted last week saying how it was my 21st and my bf was on the verge of breaking up with me. Well it hasn't happened yet. I feel so down and depressed. Is it silly to get depressed over a relationship. We're together 2 years and 5 months. He was my first love and as far as i'm concren my only love.
Well i had my bday on Monday and i was very down for most of the day. We went out for a meal that night with my family but he had to leave half way through to pick up something, he did come back but he neither of bothered because of how he's acting towards me. Hes just so so cold towards me.I can't remember the last time he called me babe or hun or anything like that because he always used to say it.All the affection he had in him has gone completely. He never puts his hand on my leg or rubs me or anything. i have to ask for the hug or a kiss and even at that its nothing much. The whole i love you t hing is really hurting me to. He'll only ever say it if i say it and even at that its a struggle to get it out of him other than that he won't say it. i'm terrified he's falling out of love with me.
All week he's been doing really mean things like the way he's acting towards me or the stuff he's saying its not the old person i fell in love with. So i don't know how much more i can take. one min i'm like emma your better off without him cos look how down he's making you then i'm thinking i want to spend my life with this man and have him be the father of my kids. My head is such a mess. All i do all day is sit in my room.
My friend is taking me out tomorrow night and i don't drink but i said to her i'm getting hammered but well i'm a very emotional person and i'm afraid that with drink on me i'll become a wreck in the night club.This nightclub is also a place that i only ever go with my boyfriend so everywhere i look it will remind me of him oh and the songs, why where songs ever invented cos they just make u feel even worse because they just remind you of him and happier times. We're where suppoose to meet up tody but he said that he didn't want to seem me cos his head as a mess. well i'm wish he'd flippin sort it out becasue i'm going crazy.
Its one on the morning where i am i suppose i better so to bed but whats the point i'm only gonna be up all night. I need cheering up. i know people are gonna say i just just let him go but its alot easier said than done.
Sorry for rambelling on i just love this board i can get everything out.

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