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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=Unicorn430]I would like to hear from those who have either had a break-up or divorce but remained good friends with the ex regarding when you met his/her new partner. I know if I stay friends with my recent ex (he left and doesn't want to try to work things out), I will end up having to meet his new girlfriend. When you first met your ex's new mate, what happened? What was it like, and how did you feel, and how did you cope, and what happened? etc?[/QUOTE]

First off, you don't have to stay friends with your ex. If you choose to stay friends with him, you don't HAVE to meet his new girlfriend. By the way, does your ex already have a new girlfriend?

I stayed friends with a guy I dated for 4 years. He is now married with a baby. I met his then girlfriend, now wife at a funeral for a common friend of ours. I knew she was going to be there and I was really nervous. The thing is, it went better than I thought. I remained confident and friendly. He introduced us and I was polite. You have to remember that it will be strange for the new girl too. My situation was actually quite funny because his new g/f looked just like me. Of course, you may find yourself comparing yourself to her, but it won't be as bad as you think. Our minds can make things seem so much worse than what they are. Who knows? Maybe you'll have a new boyfriend and could careless when you meet your ex's girlfriend.

The key is that you need to take care of you. He left you and doesn't want to work things out. Do what makes you comfortable. Only be friends with him if it is okay with you. Only meet his new g/f if you are okay with it. Bottom line, don't worry or try not to worry about meeting her until it happens, if it ever actually does. :)
[QUOTE=Unicorn430]I would like to hear from those who have either had a break-up or divorce but remained good friends with the ex regarding when you met his/her new partner. I know if I stay friends with my recent ex (he left and doesn't want to try to work things out), I will end up having to meet his new girlfriend. When you first met your ex's new mate, what happened? What was it like, and how did you feel, and how did you cope, and what happened? etc?[/QUOTE]

Is this ex an ex husband or just an ex boyfriend? I think the trick is to get to a point where you have sincerely moved on, and have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever, and are at peace with the notion that it just wasn't meant to be, and it's best that you two go your separate ways and find happiness with other people. The main question would be is, are you there yet? If so, then I don't think it should be any real big deal, unless she's just a total monster to you. If you still love him or still have feelings for him, I don't recommend even trying to remain friends. That simply doesn't work. Someone always ends up hurt. I only have one real ex, and I simply couldn't stay friends with him. I ran into him and his new woman in a club one night. No words were spoken at all, but she gave me a look like "I know who you are, you're the loser who lost him, now he's mine." It was all I could do to keep from flying over the table and strangling her. It just depends on where you are, I think.





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