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Hi everyone!

Well i have a major problem. I am 23 years old, and never been on a date with anyone. I wouldnt consider myself and unattractive person. Just an average girl. My worst quality is my weight. I am a chubby girl. Well i decided to go on match com to try and find someone to date. I didnt post my pic up by the way, because i have low self esteem when it comes to my looks, and i was afraid to. well i emailed this good looking guy who in real life would probably be considered "out of my league" he emailed me the next day, and asked me for my pic. i was such an idiot! i emailed him a picture of my pretty friend instead of me. my friend didnt mind really. she isnt beautiful or anything, but prettier than me i think. well the guy's name is larry, and we chatted through IM for a while and then he asked to meet me. well i would always make an excuse as to why i couldnt meet him. that was 3 months ago. i actually felt so bad about it, that i cut off communication with him for about a month, but last week i was on, and he IMed me just to see if i was alive. well we started chatting again, and again we hit it off so well. he and i just click personality wise. he is such a nice guy, but he already told me that he doesnt date "ugly" girls or "chubby" girls. (I consider myself chubby) he still thinks i look like my prettier skinny friend by the way. well he again is asking to meet me this friday, and he said he didnt want any excuses. he also wants my phone #, but i dont want to give it to him because i dont want to get involved even further with him you know. he is of course getting frustrated that i wont meet or talk with him on the phone, but i am not a mean person and i dont want to hurt him. but for some reason, i cant stop talking to him. as a matter of fact, today we talked ALL DAY on IM. that is how much we like to talk to each other. i just feel horrible that i lied to this guy. but i know that if i now tell him that i lied about my looks to him, he would hate me....

what do you guys think i should do? if you would like to [ [b] No off board contact, of any kind, for any reason. No exceptions. [/b] ] any help would be appreciated!
[QUOTE=KawaiiKoneko81]Thanks you guys. you know i just think that it really sucks that you can find a person who matches perfectly with you attitude and personality wise. but if they dont like the way you look, then they wont even give you a chance. i know for almost certain that if i had given this guy my real pic he wouldnt have given me the time of day.....

it makes me really really sad is all....[/QUOTE]
This should not make you sad. There is nothing to be sad about in people seeking what they find attractive. This is normal and healthy. Nothing to be sad about.

Self esteem has no relationship to looks. Self esteem is developed right along side of character. I will guarantee that the most homely of people, that have strong character, do not suffer from low self esteem. This is where your focus shoul be if you wish to get out of the feelings of sadness and self pity that accompanies low self esteem.

To start the process, come clean with this fellow and be honest. Honesty is the cornerstone of good character, least of all teh cornerstone of a relationship. Then move forward with a plan to see the good in yourself. There are plenty of people out there for you. Increase your desirability by being strong in things like honsesty and in yoru self confidence. Many guys will tell you a women that knows she is worthy, regardless of how she looks, is a very desirable women.

I know you will find the right guy when you start being proud of who you are.





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