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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I just got out of a 9 month relationship with my boyfriend. It wasn't very long compared to so many others, but we were very close friends for about six months before we started dating. There are so many things that I felt were not just coincidence, and it was so nice to find someone as similar as me. We fell in love and I honestly thought we were going to get married one day, he even said he thought about it too. He broke up with me once because of one reason, and I explained to him the reasons for things. He understood because he thought it was because of something else and we got back together. That night I have never been in love with him more, I was so close to losing him and we both agreed that the break up would bring us closer together. We were going to start over so it would kinda be like how it was in the beginning. The next day we hung out after the class we had together. We went back to his dorm and cuddled and I was so happy to have him back, and so was he. He wouldn't kiss me though, and I didn't know why. Later that night I asked him why he wouldn't kiss me and he just told me to come over after class. Then I said that I was scared, and he said he was too. He then told me that he went numb. That he couldn't feel any emotions, no love, nothing. He told me this happened a couple times before in his two previous girlfriends after about 4 months. He thought it wasn't going to happen again with me. I know people don't understand this numb thing, he doesn't, I don't, but most people say its because of different things. I think its because he was afraid of getting hurt because he knew it would be almost impossible to have a relationship with all the school work he has, and he really wanted to hang out with his friends. I understand that and I respect that but I just wish he could tell me he still wanted to be with me in the future, I really thought we were meant to be together.

Ok, my question is, have any of you been so in love with someone that you thought it was a rare love that not many people have. And then you break up, do you find love again that makes the first love seem not as great as the next or current? I'm just so scared I'll never find someone like that again.

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