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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Oh you poor girl...I know [i]exactly[/i] how you're feeling, and its awful...I wouldn't wish this feeling upon my worst enemy. I'm 20, and have just gone through a terrible breakup with the man I felt so [i]sure[/i] I was destined to be with, forever. To add insult to injury, he's already moved on with a much older woman who seems to be the exact opposite of me. Not only do I feel like I've loved and lost, but I've been insulted in the process by how he's handled himself after the breakup.

I have no doubt that we were deeply in love...I know in my heart that I do still love him. Our love was intense and passionate - we were the closest of friends as well as the most intimate of couples. We could read eachothers minds, make eachother laugh so much and talk openly about everything and anything. He was older than me but less experienced in the ways of the heart, and he fell so deeply in love with me that in the face of all our problems he still clung on for so long, telling me he needed me. We were together for a blissful 2.5 years.

Doesn't sound like a relationship that would end, does it? I know thats what I thought. But yes, it came to an end. Things with his family and his life became stressful, and quite frankly, he hated feeling so vulnerable and having his heart so open to be broken by someone like me. So he broke up with me. My life hasn't been the same since. Since then, I've been chiding myself for not doing 'this right and that right', for saying things I shouldn't have, and doing things I shouldn't have...its all part of the learning process but I feel that my mistakes have lost me the love of my life.

Try to be open to the prospect of loving again. Its been SO hard for me, and I'm still struggling with it - I've been avoiding the attentions of men and trying so hard to combat my feelings. Listen to the advice of the wonderful women (and men) on this board, if nothing else, they will share their experiences of love and hopefully in the end, we'll both realise that realistically - there IS more for us out there. That this love WASN'T meant to be. And no matter how hard we try to shove a square through a circular hole, its not going to fit, no matter how many times we tell ourselves it will. Sometimes 2 lives will mesh for a while, but when the course is run, its time to find that next person who will compliment your life, love you, and fill you with joy. I've learnt SO much from this breakup, and I feel so much older. Now its just a matter of telling myself that I WILL get through this, and there will be love for me on the other side. Good luck girl. I'm with you all the way.


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