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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Advice?
Feb 18, 2005
[QUOTE=ScruffyGuy]You want some hard-hitting straight talk here? I'm not one to carefully dance around things, so... just letting you know in advance!

Take it from a man: this guy isn't going to change. Dump him.

But you won't. You're too worried about being alone, isn't that right? You have to have a dude around or you don't feel complete. Is that on the mark?

Actually, I hope you prove me wrong. I hope you dump the guy and focus on YOU and the importance of YOURSELF.

Look, I don't believe there is anything wrong with looking at porn online or even possibly having a few fantasy chats while in a relationship. But that is not what this scenario is and you know it.

You keep saying you've "confronted" him over and over. You have already seen all the proof you need.

The relationship started off with ZERO TRUST and it now has even LESS THAN ZERO TRUST.

It's not going to get better. Confronting him won't solve anything. Nagging him won't work, either. Making this the subject of never-ending conversations is only going to drive him mad.

The suggestion to try to pretend to be some other girl online is, I'm afraid, deplorable and counterproductive. You KNOW he will take that bait -- he's done it before. Doing this childish game will only serve to make YOU feel even MORE miserable than you do now.

The relationship HE has with YOU does not include any RESPECT.

No trust, no respect.

Yeah, this is going to go far...

You even went as far as to lie to him and PRETEND you were leaving him just to get his reaction. That kind of behavior is ALMOST as bad as HIS behavior.

And yet I think you know that and are not the kind of person who wants to live her life in that way -- sneaking, lying, making up stories, intentionally scaring him, searching endlessly for his next betrayal.

This can't be much fun, can it?

He's had sex with other women. That's a fact. You have the proof. He has shown that he will repeatedly lie about this if caught again. It's an endless cycle of emotional abuse.

YOU can break the cycle.


The action is yours alone to take.

If you care to make the move toward a better life, you know how to do it.

Best of luck to you.[/QUOTE]

I had the same problem with my ex....I was 7 months pregnant when I moved out and never ever looked back...and now our daughter is 2 yrs old and I just recently had to get a restraining order on him...because he wants me back soooo bad.

They do not change.... he did not think I would leave for good...but I did!!! And it was the BEST THING THAT I EVER DID.

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