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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Being in a bad or unhappy relationship is awful, I think we have all been there. Whether you have fallen out of love with another person or are in an abusive relationship is not a good place to be. From my own experience, living my life in LIMBO was even worse. My EX husband cheated on me too. He said a lot of the things to me that cheaters tell their spouses. Same old stuff like "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I love you more like a sister". Their strange behavior gives it away too, so don't assume you wife doesn't know something is going on because she probably can tell, trust me on this. I knew my husband from High School. I thought he was my best friend and I trusted him completely. Now it is 11 years after my divorce and I realize looking back that a lot of little things that were happening over the 8 years I was married were warning signs that I didn't see or was too stupid to pick up on. He wasn't as honest as he appeared to be. We didn't have any children so his leaving wasn't as big a deal as it may be for you but I will tell you about his life. He cheated on me 2 times (as far as I know) and he remained with the second girl/woman for about 5 years........until he was thrown out. Probably because he wouldn't marry her or maybe he cheated on her too! He got so heavy/fat that it caused major health problems. Diabetes, and heart problems. At the age of 40 he had heart surgery and now has a defribulator in his chest for the rest of his life (however long that might be). He is very sick. He is alone now, and doesn't have anyone to help him. He is trying to live a normal life but he is ill and doesn't have a partner to help him or care for him. That is awful. and I don't see how his life is any better. When I do see him we are very civil to each other and I actually feel bad for him. Only once after his heart surgery did I actually see him look at me with regret.........that was my satisfaction but I felt so sorry that he was sick and I never wished him harm. He lost his home, his wife, and is alone now all because he cheated. Can you imagine.

I agree with some of the posts here...........those butterflies go away and those knees that once shoock no longer do but the level of love and respect should be better and higher than ever. If you are cheating then you aren't respecting your wife or your family.

I will leave you with this.................

You know what you have now but 11 years you from now you may have nothing. Your children may hate you too but that is your problem, not your wife's problem. I think you should let your wife go and let her try to be with someone who is going to appreciate her the way you should have appreciated her but didn't and still don't. You know, cheating is bad, it says something loud and clear about a persons character it shows that it is flawed. If you did it in the past and you are doing it now, you will do it again, trust me. You will do it to your next girlfriend/wife too. It is in you. You get what you put out there.

If you have 1 ounce of respect for your wife, let her make a better life and learn what love is supposed to be like. What respect and a happy life is supposed to be like. Let her go.

What she doesn't know can't hurt her either, so don't tell her anything that she doesn't need to know. Spare her anymore hurt.

Build up your character from this point on and try to be a better person.

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