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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I'll have to disagree with a couple things here:

Saying most men are not "gay friendly" and would consequently "deck" the guy is simply not true. But since this has little to do with the topic, we'll leave it be except to say that blanket statements regarding moral issues are never a good idea.

I'll have to also disagree that gay men don't hit on straight men: they most certainly DO. In fact, there are LOTS of gay men who ONLY are interested in straight men. Now, do understand that this is not indicative of the entire gay community, nor do gay men who are into straight men ever try to "pressure" a straight dude into sex or "convince" him to try it. The gay dudes who are into "straight" dudes are usually meeting the "straight" men who are truly closeted homosexuals themselves and who SEEK OUT gay sex behind the backs of their wives or girlfriends. There is no "gay recruitment" agenda: that is a myth. But sex between gay men and "straight" or confused men DOES happen.

I don't think the gal in this situation should get herself involved, at least not at first.

Since it is her boyfriend who is being hit upon, it should be up to HIM to ask the gay guy to stop it.

The best way to do this, in my opinion, is to temper any possible hurt feelings by discussing it as a matter of professional courtesy. The boyfriend should consider saying:

"I'm flattered but of course you know I'm straight and I'm dating Miss X. She and I keep our personal lives OUT of our work. We don't believe sexual issues and flirting are appropriate at the workplace. I would feel more comfortable if you and I could just be friends and work associates and leave it at that."

If the gay guy doesn't get the hint, THEN I would say that maybe the gal should speak up and simply REPEAT what her boyfriend already said.

And if THAT doesn't work -- it's time to get really serious about it. This guy is essentially sexually harassing a work associate. I would go to management about it and let THEM handle it.

This would mean the end of the friendship, of course -- but a friend who cannot respect your wishes to be left alone and not sexually harassed certainly was never a friend to begin with.

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