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I dated a guy --we were good friends, we had a lot in common, we both wanted the same things out of life, and he seemed to be crazy about me (and I about him). I was very young at the time (when we broke-up it was the summer after my freshman year of college). We had gone to high school together (he was 1 year older than me) and I had never really dated anyone else, and so I started getting scared that we would get married soon (he seemed to be getting very serious) and that years later I would wish that I had dated other people besides just him--because I didn't know what dating other people was like and I was worried that I would look back at my life and have regrets. (I am always worried about making the wrong decisions, I am an indecisive person.) So I broke things off and he never knew why. (By the way--my best friend always thought that we were going to get married and so did his family and my family.)

A couple of years later (after having no contact with him--he is very prideful and I know that I really upset him) I ran into his sister whom I had been good friends with. She had been living out of the state and was back for a visit. After listening to what had been going on in her life I asked how her "family" had been doing. She knew that I really meant "how is your brother doing?". She told me that he had been dating a girl and that they seemed to be happy.

I was shopping with a relative that day (who is also a close friend of mine) when I ran into ex's sister. After running into her I started acting very depressed. My cousin asked what was wrong and I told her that I thought that I had made a big mistake by breaking things off with "him" (even before running into his sister I had been feeling this way, but I really thought that after I grew up some we would run into each other again and it would all work out like a fairy tale--(immature thought I know)). So, my cousin told me that I should just call him, tell him that I ran into his sister, and that I knew I had made a mistake when I broke things off and I wanted him back. I am prideful too and I told her that I couldn't do that, especially knowing that he was dating someone else--I just didn't feel comfortable doing that. I really thought in my head that they would end up breaking up and we would run into each other again and get back together for good.

Over a year later he got married to the girl that his sister had told me about. I felt so sick when I found out about it (it happended last year). I always had in my head that we would end up together (even when I broke things off with him). All of the guys that I have met or dated since him have only shown me how wonderful and what a rare find he really was. I know that I made a big mistake and the whole thing is just so upsetting to think about--so I have tried to just push the feelings and thoughts of him away even though it has been so hard!!

Now (fast forward to the present), I am going to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding (the wedding is at the end of May). My ex's wife is going to be in the house party, so not only will I be meeting her for the first time (probably at the end of this next month at my friend's bridal shower), but I am going to be seeing him (for the first time since I broke things off with him) at the wedding rehearsal dinner and then the wedding. I just feel so sick thinking about it--it is going to be so hard for me to handle.

I have seen a picture of his wife and she is very beautiful (teeny tiny skinny w/ long, long blonde hair)---he is also so very good-looking and always has been (the tall, dark, handsome, athletic type with gorgeous blue eyes). I just don't know what to do. I feel like I have messed up my whole life. I have been praying about it, but I just can't believe that I messed up so badly. Everytime I start to think about the whole situation I try to just push it out of my mind and think of something else (this is what I have been doing for years now), but it is getting closer to when I am going to see him and I just don't know how I am going to deal with it. I just want to burst into tears. I know that I have other things in my life--my family and friends who love and need me, and that is what has kept me going, but I think seeing him (especially with her) is going to make me crazy.

I just don't know what to do--I can't believe that I made such a big mistake that has altered the rest of my life---please help!! I am already going crazy thinking about this!!!!!





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