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[QUOTE=MonicaMM] I know I love him but is Love really all we need?
Hi Monica, I'm sorry to hear about the pain you're trying to endure.
I honestly think there's a lot more to a relationship than love. Like my Dad says, "Love doesn't pay the bills".
Love, trust, companionship, trust, friendship, trust... oh, did I mention trust? That's where we're at. I've never tried to "regain" someone's trust to this extent before. I don't know if it is possible. I have my doubts, but I also hold out some hope which explains the situation i'm in right now.
You know, when my ex wife cheated on me, I kept trying to work things out with her with the hope that she would become that woman that I married. After many excruciating months, I finally realized that the woman I fell in love with and married had died... she was replaced with someone else whom I didn't know, or like much, for that matter. Once I mourned, and came to terms with that, it made it easier to 'move on'.
With my current GF, i'm not so sure that she's passed on yet. I think she's wounded, but not dead. I'm praying that she'll heal and come back to me and adore me the way she once did. The last 10 days or so, have gone magnificently well. I really do believe that she wants to be with me. I thank God that I found out about this, because even if she broke it off with him before I found out like she claims to have done, she's faced at least some sort of consequences for her actions, and if she truly does want us to work out, hopefully she'll realize that a little added excitement in her life isn't worth jeaporadizing(sp?) what we've worked so hard to build together.
That being said: The Communion's in 2 days, we'll see how she behaves. It's official, my son is leaving Monday... driving down with his stepdad and his kids. My daughter's leaving early Wednesday :( Some tough days are very near for me.

Monica, if you don't mind me giving you my opinion... this other girl has to be completely out of the picture if there's any hope of you regaining trust in this man. He knows that and i'm sure you know that as well. If you have the strength to muster giving him an ultimatum sounds like it might set him right, but I would demand, in the name of his future wife!!!! That if he wants to be with you forever, then he must stop this nonsense. I know it's hard, almost impossible to be firm at times, but he has got to stop. It really is ridiculous that he expects you to put up with this nonsense. I wish you the best of luck, and if there is anyway at all that I can give you support, please don't hesitate to ask... ok?
Wow Sunny!! Great reply. Thanks for that.

Well, I haven't been around much lately, been very busy. Here's an update for anyone who's interested.

My daughters First Communion was wonderful. She looked like an absolute angel and made me very proud. My GF was great too. I was really nervous at first because when we first arrived at the church, I could tell that she just didn't want to be there. The Priest asked me if i'd like to accompany my daughter and her mother(my X) and bring the communion "gifts" down the aisle to the alter. I was worried but decided if my GF gets angry about it, shame on her and too bad. Well, she just said "Do what you gotta do." Afterwards, my ex inlaws wanted a couple photos of my daughter with her parents. Once again, I was worried about how the GF would react, but she didn't even mention it.
At first the "luncheon" celebration was a bit tense. Everyone relaxed after a while and were very cordial. My GF even talked to my ex for a little while :eek: . All in all, it went great. My GF even says that it was very nice and she had a good time. I know my daughter enjoyed herself and that's the most important thing. I'm a proud papa.

Unfortunately, Monday my son left to Florida. Daughter flew down there this morning, but she's coming back in a week to have her tonsills removed. When she recovers, she'll be leaving permanently as well. I'm hanging in there though. Honestly, I don't think it's really "hit" me yet.

Now for my relationship. Well, my Gf's still trying really hard. She tells me she loves me about a dozen times daily. Text messages me constantly from work telling me how much she misses me. She's being very sweet and open and concerned, etc. I'm still having a really tough time with trust. Even though she's trying so hard, i'm feeling so insecure. In my relationship and with myself. I still am no where near trusting her the way I need to trust her. For example, last night she says she got home at 1am and into bed at around 1:30am. I didn't hear her come to bed and immediately after I awoke, I started wondering if she was being honest... If she went out for drinks... etc. It's driving me looney. I used to be so insecure and self conscious. A while after my divorce, I regained my confidence and that carried on into this relationship. Now, i'm back where I was... and I hate it. She called me last night on one of her breaks, and I hear her talking to some guy in the background, my gut immediately tightens and I get to feeling very low. When I got home from work yesterday, she gets a text message on her cell phone. It was right next to me so I say, "Can I look at it". She says ok and it's her buddy(the one that ratted her out to me). The message reads "Got us some cold beer for lunch". I say, "Oh, since you can't go out after work now, you're gonna drink at lunch!?" She says that it was for her friend and she didn't even want to drink during work :rolleyes: . Once again, I immediately sink so low. She keeps reassuring me that she's not gonna drink. Even calls me at lunch to reassure me.

I feel like i'm never gonna get over this. I don't know how long I can wait to see if I regain my trust for her. I don't know how long she can wait for me to regain my trust for her. Surely if I keep suspecting the worse, she'll get tired of trying to justify her every action. I hate this, but I love what we have. When we're together, everything is so amazing... it's all I want. It's when we're apart that's really difficult for me.
Has anyone out there actually lost there trust for someone and regained it? If so, please let me know it's possible. I'm friends with this married couple. He cheated on his wife 5 years ago and she found out. She still doesn't trust him. I don't want to be like that 5 years from now. I don't want to be like this 6 months from now. How can I get over this? Can I? Once again, sorry it's so long.

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