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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi Juicy. My name is Len and I will be your teacher in this post. :) You sound like a very nice but highly insecure girl that doesn't know how to deal with your problem correctly. Sure dumping the guy and moving on is what everyone is telling you and believe me it's the best first step in the right direction. But there is still a problem: you still care about something that is already dead.

I will make this as short and sweet as possible: You want love. Everyone does. Everyone wants security and to have someone. That is a given and is a biological trait within each human being to be social creatures. Nothing wrong with that. What is wrong with it is when the need for someone being in your life overrides what you take for granted that already exists in your life. I don't know you but I assume you have good parents, a roof over your head, food, and some sort of transportation. The lesson is this....learn to appreciate what you have around you already. Human beings are never satisfied and always think they can satisfy themselves by increasing possessions, people, money, etc... around them and they are only fooling themselves. What is truly yours can never be taken away from you. Everything has a purpose in life and a place for being. People are meant to have hard times in life....we all do for a reason. You only learn to really appreciate the good things when you have experienced the bad. Sitting in an air conditioned room is one thing. But going outside and sweating your rear off in 95 degree weather doing something physically strenuous and then after 8 hours.....walking into an air conditioned room makes you appreciate the air conditioning so much more. Learn to be happy that you have good health. That you have an education behind you and food on the table. Be happy with the friends that you do have that have always been there for you. Nothing in life ever stays the same. People come and go. People are always trying to look for stability in an ever-changing world and it's not realistic. Since the only thing in life that doesn't change is change itself, you should try to welcome the change and learn to find stability in change and make it your goal to be ready for whatever life throws at you next. Relationships as well as everything you see around you is matter if it lasts a moment or a lifetime. Everything is temporary. Now the heart of the matter is you are heartbroken. Let the man go. And learn to find true happiness. True happiness is not in another boyfriend. It's not in making him feel guilty or bad that he doesn't have you....that is revenge and selfishness and remember..."what you put out always comes back to you". It's not in money. It's not in a fast car or fancy clothes. It's not in a big house or a long vacation. All of that stuff satisfies you for a short time, then you are unhappy again. And all of that stuff can be there one moment and gone the next. Instead find eternal and true happiness. That happiness can never be taken away from you and that happiness is within you. Being happy with what you have, with what you have learned thus far, with your areas of interest, skill, or craft. Being yourself and learning to live life to it's fullest. Take advantage of lessons in life and that's one of the reasons we learn. Not every relationship is headed down the altar but they are tremendous learning points in our lives. Part of the lesson of living in life is learning to let go. The less desires in your life that you have, the more happier you will be. The more possessions, relationships, etc. that you have around you, the more harder it is to hold on to all that and the more you have to lose. One of the secrets of being happy in life is learning to live with the bare essentials. Anything more than that is nice but not necessary. Let go of desires. Let go of what you want. Embrace what you need. What you need right now is not letting this whole situation get to you. Let it go. Show you are the more mature person...the better person. Don't repay evil with evil. Fight evil with good. Respond to hate and jealousy with love. And learn to forgive and move on. And last but not least, not to sound religious or dogmatic, but learn to find God in your life. That is the one true happiness that never goes away. I don't care about religions, dogmas, or sects. Just realizing that there is a Creator that loves you and is always there for you is what's important. Learn to pray and give up your problems to Him. That is the one relationship that will never end. And the happiness you get from Him lasts forever.

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