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[QUOTE=StormGirl]Mz, I will also agree with some others, and while I can understand how your ex bf was hurt, it is an immature thing to break up over. Like I said, in the big scheme of things it is really so trivial.

The point I wanted to make to you now that you have accepted things is this: although it's hard, perhaps now it's time to move on and find someone with a higher maturity level and who will match your "security" level. Obviously you need to be with someone who can take the relationship more seriously and not feel threatened by a drunk guy, or a shallow incident. I would refrain from trying to explain your side to your ex any further. It shouldn't be so hard if he really loved you, but he obviously does not want to hear it or sort it out - and I also find that hard to believe after so many years together. Let him go to try to find someone who will never get any unwanted attention from guys (good luck). You, should now go and find someone who will cherish and appreciate you for who you are, your good nature and other lovely attributes, and yes, who will even love you for your faults... that's real love.

Good luck to you girl.[/QUOTE]

Here here! Your ex apparently wants a woman who never gets any attention from any other men, and if she does, she immediately goes running to him and wraps her legs around him. Like I said, my brother is a body builder and very big, and many men ,uch smaller and skinnier than him hit on his woman right in front of him, not because they were "looking for trouble" but because she was really pretty and wasn't married yet, and some men actually are like that Vance guy in that new movie Hitch, who believe they are entitled to any and everything they want when they want it. But if Kobe didn't even want to hear that or even accept your apology and see your side of it, it's only more clear to me that he's using this as an excuse. I keep thinking about a movie back in the late 80s called School Daze, Spike Lee's first movie that got real notive. This frat boy was sick of his girlfriend but didn't want to be the "bad guy" by dumping her, so he told her if she loved him she'd do him a favor and initiate a pledge to the fraternity by having sex with him. She did to please her boyfriend, then afterward he asked her if she really slept with the pledge, she told him the truth, and he pretended to get furious, saying she should have known he really didn't want her to ACTUALLY sleep with the pledge, and how could she do this, etc and he used that as the excuse to dump her. Your ex's anger and stubbornness is so disproportionate to the incident, that I really think he was using it as an excuse. If it hadn't been that, it would have been "well, you talked to my friends too rudely" or some other silly excuse guys make up when they want to dump us but don't have the guts to. Try not to be too sad about it and try not to beat yourself up about it anymore. It wasn't really your fault, he was going to leave you anyway, just looking for the right excuse, and you're probably better off without him. Good luck to you.

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