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[QUOTE=ScruffyGuy] She let the guy keep on pressuring her. She showed no backbone. She ultimately accepted the rose he offered.

There is no excuse for this behavior. [/QUOTE]

This is no excuse but to merely justify my actions. I accepted the rose he offered (after rejecting it alot of times) so that the guy would just leave me alone. That was my main goal, for him to just leave me alone & have nothing to do with him. I didnt want to cause a scene and make a big fuss over NOTHING. Like i said the guy who offered me the rose was harmless and was not in anyway a threat. I wanted to deal with the situation quick and easy and continue my night with my friends without errupting and causing any fuss or trouble over something i truly believe was NOTHING.

[QUOTE] The gal should have had the courage to NOT accept that rose under any circumstance. After her initial statement to the guy about having a boyfriend was rejected by the new suitor, she should have said to him: "No, really... I DO have a boyfriend! In fact, I'm going over there to see him RIGHT NOW. Want to come along and MEET HIM?"
THAT would get rid of the guy INSTANTLY.
And the FACT is that this girl KNOWS THIS. She KNOWS SHE COULD HAVE DONE THIS.[/QUOTE]

I admit i shouldnt have accepted the rose, i was put under pressure and knew at a later time that i made the wrong choice. I cracked and didnt handle the situation by the book like it should have been. But bieng a BF & a male he had every opputunity to come in and stop it, why cant he see that i love him that no harm was intended.
I admit if i didnt accept the rose all this could have been avoided but I did accept it. why? basically coz i was put on the spot, wanted to deal with situation quickly as possible & to avoid TROUBLE. It was the easiest possible solution to get rid of my problem (the guy). Everyone likes an easy way out of a problem and i happen to be one of them. i didnt want to have to go get my boyfriend just coz some worthless guy was hitting on me.. if that happened to me & my bf wasn't around, then what? reject the rose & have the guy follow me around the whole night, espcially since he was a friend of a friend who i hung out with. After i accepted it he walked away, I ignored & avoided him the whole night, left the rose on some table which was clearly visible to the guy (to show i wasnt interested with it) & he left me alone the whole night, WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED. I know how males & their 'egos' are espcially in a situation like this & if my BF did get in trouble in any way because of me not dealing with the situation quietly & subtly i would feel even more guilty knowing i could've avoided it. What if they got into a fight? i didnt want to be held responsible over something petty like that.
I also didnt want to be a B*tch, go over to my boyfriend who was with friends that disliked me & make it seem like i needed him to hold my hand just because a situation like that had occurred. im not a baby who needs to be looked after 24/7. I knew i could have done that but i didnt & by this he didnt have to deal with it coz if he WANTED to deal with the situation that was taken place he would have approached me the second the guy came over to give me a rose. My bf also told me that he was watching me across the room talking with that guy & my friends so if he felt any feeling of worry or seemed like the guy was being 'too friendly', as he said i shouldve noticed which then i presume he had noticed then why didnt he approach ME? Why didnt he then come up to me and introduce himself to the guy and say, "hi, im her boyfriend.. blah blah blah"

[QUOTE] But she wanted the attention. It was cute, it was flirty, it was harmless on the surface -- but it was utterly a BAD decision. [/QUOTE]

Of course it was a bad decision coz it caused me to lose the boyfriend i love. But i DID NOT want the attention, I also did not ASK for it. Thats an assumption & you weren't there to witness my actions involving the whole incident to make an assumption like that. Males automatically assume that just because females with companions handle situations differently not abiding by what they think 'is by the book' we females automatically WANT & ENJOY the attention we do not SEEK or DESIRE. It is not our fault that MALES take female kindness out of poportion.

[QUOTE]She could have also accept the rose and dropped it on the floor in front of the guy, removing it from his hand and taking CONTROL of the situation and then ENDING the situation by depositing the flower onto the dancefloor. [/QUOTE]

Yes i could have done that, but i have respect for people and will not hurt some1's feelings just like that directly, that is a selfish act. Just because he was trying to be nice, i dont have to be a b*tch about it.
I could have dropped it on the floor & even though he was a nice guy he was DRUNK. men are temperamental when thier drunk & me insulting him like that directly in his face in a public scene (everyone could see because my boyfriend and all his friends saw it) who knows what could have happened? I wanted to avoid embarrassment & once again avoid unnecessary TROUBLE.

[QUOTE] Flirting of ANY sort while out in public with your partner to whom you are committed is NOT acceptable behavior. [/QUOTE]

I was NOT FLIRTING. What, now adays being nice is considered flirting? then i suppose the whole of humanity is flirting with one another. I was simply being nice while we were talking prior to the rose incident, we were having a group discussion about certain topics one of the topics being my BF. The conversation was not directed to just me & him. It was a group discussion. He did not in any way ask for my number, compliment me or anything like that, he didnt touch me or do things that were considered 'flirty.' Neither did I. I was merely being nice to him because he was being nice to me who knew his intention was to do that to me. I made it clear to him that i had b/f so I ultimately assumed he was harmless.

my boyfriend doesnt have trouble gaining attention from the opposite sex so i wonder how he would have delt with the situation should it have been him in my shoes, and the rose be replaced with something of equal value.

[QUOTE] It is up to YOU to put an IMMEDIATE end to it. [/QUOTE]

It is up to me & i put did put an END to the whole situation by avoiding TROUBLE, CONFLICT & doing the quickest simplest way of ENDING the whole situation. It wasnt worth my time & effort to cause a fuss, he knew i had a bf and yet he still chose to persue me. I had no control of his actions but i reacted in a way that i thought was a way out for everyone. Unfortunately my bf doesn't agree.

[quote] friend was looking for an excuse and she gave him one. That leads me to believe that he KNEW she'd give him an excuse sooner or later -- so it is likely that she exhibits this kind of behavior often. [/quote]

You are assuming alot of things. I do not exhibit this kind of behaviour often & you do not know our whole relationship. You cannot assume things and ultimately think that they are correct. This is the first incident where something like this has occured. We have had our problems & i have contributed to them but so has he, i am not always the one to blame.
My boyfriend commited the ultimate act of betrayal, he cheated on me.. numerous amount of times & he still had the nerve to blame ME for the incidents. He always finds ways to blame me for things and always tries to be right. Just like with this situation, he blames me for it, isnt open for discussion, is one track minded & wont take into consideration the 2nd side of the story.

My boyfriend knows who i am & where he stands with me. After all this time we've been together he should already know that i am incapable of intentionally hurting him. Ive taken his feelings into consideration & have understood his points & opinion in the matter but being the stubborn person he is, he chooses not to.

I have apologized, tried to talk it over with him (on msn because he doesnt even have the decency to call me, pick up on my fone calls or meet up with me & talk face-to-face after 3-4 years of companionship) & yet he still wont care for others opinions or my reasons to justify my actions. Males & their egos! they're so stubborn! & the sad thing is, is that we still love eachother deeply & yet he chooses to not be with me with the thought that i might do it again.

Doesn't he get that I LOVE HIM DEARLY, i learn from my mistakes and all this was unintentional!





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