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Hey There

I'm not sure what I am expecting from posting this here... but maybe someone can help me to understand why I am feeling the way I do right now.

I am 28, and almost 2 years ago now (wow) I abruptly broke off a relationship with my live-in boyfriend who I had been with for 2.5 yrs. I was very much in love with him.

When I first met him I called him the "male version of me" because we had so much in common, and we just laughed all the time together. We met while we were both away from our home town (which happened to be the same place)and we lived away for 8 amazing months together then returned to our home town.

Over 8 months of being together, we had already gotten to know and love each other very much, but in coming back to our home town we had to incorporate ourselves into each others lives. It was very hard and we then realized our relationship was not without its faults. We had issues with him being addicted to computer porn, his friends didnt like me (they were a very tight group of guys... girlfriends were a threat to them "losing" one of them), and I was dealing with an eating disorder at the time (it is now under control) which both the porn thing and his friends had a HUGE impact on. We had built such a base in the 8 months of "just us" that we decided to try to make it work. The thing is, I tried VERY HARD, but he could not stand up to his friends. They treated me really bad, and he let them. And if they wanted him to go out with them... he couldnt say no... even if I was having a really bad day with my eating problems and needed his support. It even got to the point they were going on a ski trip and told me it was "no girls" but I found out two other guys girlfriend's went, and my b/f knew this. We still, however, were great when his friends werent involved. We laughed so much, went on awesome roads trips together, and when he wasnt under the influence of his friends, was soooo supportive and helpful to me with my e/d.

Then when he graduated from University, he and one of his friends (the one who had always treated me the worst, but was his "best friend") went out of the country for 3.5 months. Within 2 weeks of his being away, he made out with 2 girls. He had the decency to tell me, but I consider that cheating, and if I was to let it go, he probably would of done worse. So, since he was away I ended the relationship over email :eek: I didnt feel like I had any other choice. There was no way I was going to be with someone that would do that to me, and he was going to be gone for another 3 months. It wasnt how I would ideally end any relationship, but given the circumstances, thats what I felt I needed to do. So I told him it was over and about 3 weeks later this guy who I was friends with "made his move" since I was now single. I was on the rebound, so of course I dated him, and had alot of fun going to the lake every weekend and enjoying the summer. I moved out of the apartment my ex and I shared right before he came back. When he came back, he was aware of the other guy, and didnt try to resurrect things with me at all. Then the other guy I was dating suddenly stopped trying... I think he was mostly dating me for the "I'm dating this guys girl while he's out of the country" thing. So that was over.

For the next year I dated randomly with a hope of finding someone I could click with, always disappointed. Then I met my current b/f and have been with him for about 8 months now. He is very sweet, extremely supportive of me, funny, fun and has his life together. I was smitten by him when we first started dating- we could talk for hours and laughed so much. There has never been much romance in our relationship, but I was happy just having that connection of being able to talk and enjoy each others company.

But lately I feel bored. I still love his company, and we still make each other laugh. But there is something missing and I dont know what, or what to do about it. And today... for some reason I find myself missing my ex :confused: I almost called him tonight, but didnt. I dont really know why I am feeling like this right now. Letely, I just feel like my b/f doesnt try...b ut he does... he isnt a romantic guy, but he makes sure to tell me how much he loves me, that he's happy etc etc. And we see each other pretty much everyday

Why am I bored??! :confused: And WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT MY EX!!! I know my current b/f really loves me, and he is such a great guy... I cant figure out why I am feeling this way

Thanks for reading... if you got through this I comend you!! haha
Any thoughts or comments would be really appreciated cuz I am just confused and sad about feeling this way right now :(

Becky





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