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Re: A violent night
Mar 12, 2005
*lets out deep breath* I just spent 30 mins making a post and had it erased *sigh* and sorry if this post is not so collected. Other than a few naps here and their I have been up for 22 hours straight and had 3 hours sleep last night. Though I am headed to bed next.

We were in my small bathroom during the situation with the knife. I was honestly scarred for both of our safety. We both weigh between 125 and 130 lbs. She was carelessly being very agressive with the knife in her hand. Had she cut herself accidently or intentionally it she would have been forced to pick her family or me. Her family would have never let her over while her living at home.

@lisa24
I too believe in honesty. My gf told me that if she told her mom the truth it would be so much worse. She said her mom would have taken her to a behaviroal institutue. She would never be allowed to come over while living with her family because her mom would blame me for her emotional pain. Even though it wasn't me it was her years with her family.

My gf is here with me at my apartment nearly every minuete every day with one exception. Her mom who makes her pay rent requests that her 21 year old daughter sleep at home in respect. So every morning at around 4am I drive her home and than she comes back over asap. To me that is not about respect that is about control. I believe her mom knows that if she were to start sleeping over here it would quickly turn into her living here. I honestly belive that they don't want to see her rent money go away.

I am tired of her family. I am angry at them because of the way they treated her in the past and the way they still treat her. I am angry because almost a year later they have not approched me or invitied me into their home once. I think it is obvious she is not happy at that house. I think they are very dillusional and have got a loss of reality.

I think my girlfriend keeps holding on to that last little bit in hopes of things getting patched up before she moves out. I think this is unrelisitic. I think it could take a few years or many years for this to happen. It will take alot of forgiveness of her and alot of open minds from them.

I just keep trying to be strong for my girlfriend. To let her know I am not them. I will always be their for her and that will never change. I hope eventually she understands these things. I don't want to be the crazed bf and pull up to her house and make her move out. I want her to come to me because it feels right.

I am just so frustrated at her family. I wish I could just remove their negitivity from our lives. Her dad doesn't physically abuse her anymore. Though I feel they are emotionally abusive to her still. They are very unfair to her and play favortism with her siblings.

The whole situation of her here all the time and sleeping their from 4am to somethign like noon is just strange to me. I know she is unhappy their. I know she knows she is unhappy their. I have no idea if her parents know they seem so lost. I wish she would know she didn't deserve that treatment and still doesn't and she knew that she can't change them. Mainly I just wish she would make the jump of faith with me.

*yes I have talked to her about all of this. I am very very open with my emotions and I commuincate them alot.





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