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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=Ninispjc]If I may ask, how many other guys have you had more than say, two good dates with? Why do you think it's so hard for you to let go of this one guy? What was the bad? And was there a definite break up? Forgive me if you've already answered these, I think your story has sort of been pieced in throughout several different threads. Have you tried the on line dating thing? I think the older you get, the slimmer the pickings, but you're still very young at 29. You're too young and have too many years ahead of you to be as deep in the muck as I am. I've come across the profiles of lots of nice guys who are looking for a nice girl just your age and just like you. Is there something holding you back from trying that?[/QUOTE]
Ah, that's funny Nini, how many guys gave me at least 2 dates?
Hmm, I'll have to think a while.... None! :D

I think I only ever had 1 'technical' bf. Lasted 3 months, he was a weirdo, I figured that out and ran away fast. I was about 20. OK I have to clear the age thing, I know I don't give it out here, but that's cause I don't admit to anyone, I have 'age issues' but it's only 28 still. (But if anyone asks, just tell them 22, I can pass for it, Ok)
Another guy was in love with me, but I never felt that way for him. It's sad cause he truely cared, and I never had to question that, but it just wasn't there. (And he was an alcoholic, and reading this board makes me think I did the right thing not being involved with him-coulda been a lotta heartache there)
Another guy sorta was/sorta wasn't a bf, he was another of the 'player type' or so he thought, but also a loser going nowhere in life. But I'm not sure how 'together' we ever were. He had other gf's that I at the time knew nothing of.
The 'one' was on and off for 5 years. He had another relationship, and I'm sure many other gf's besides that. I don't know what he got outta keeping me hangin on to him. He obviously didn't need me, there were plenty of others. But this is the 'way of life' he comes from. Sort of that 'look out for yourself above any & everything else, get them before they get you, because they are out to get you, never let your guard down cause that's when they'll get you' type of thing. Guess I was silly for thinking I could understand him, when I never really could, maybe? Sometimes I hate him for being like that, sometimes I think that's all he knows. And I really believed if someone came along that Actually cared about HIM and just him, no strings attached it would make a difference. But he's so guarded he couldn't see or wouldn't let himself see that all I wanted to do was care. OR I'm making too many excuses when really he 'just wasn't that into me' end of story. Which is it?
But anyway he chose her. Some say because it was easier. She does him wrong too, so that way he doesn't have to feel guilty being with her. And he knows he can't trust her, so he doesn't have to take a chance on trusting with her, if you get that. But I don't get that. I feel like something about her must be better than me, when he said he would never put up with a girl like that, but he does. So what does she have that I don't. The only thing I can think is if she's cuter, cause I've never seen her, and thats how us females think. So my self esteem gotten eaten away with the 'ideas' in my mind. I couldn't even look in the mirror cause I saw the ugliest girl alive.
Interestingly when I left him, started noticing Alot a guys checking on me, making comments and such. ?? :confused: So how can everyone else think I'm cute, but he couldn't??

Anyway he lied about something between him and her (can't tell the story-wish I could, that's the part I need most help with, but I'm in denial, don't have the strenght to type it and leave it, I always erase)
He looked me in the eyes lied, and 6 months later I finally got the truth out of him. I don't know how. But I hung up the phone and never answered it again. other than 2 or 3 times to say 'leave me alone' or 'Why?'





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