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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=goody2shuz]Snails.....I am sorry if you thought that I was throwing out all that the past 80+ years have done in terms of women's suffrage....that is not what my intentions were in the least. Susanna shared her upsetment when it came down to making a major move and that her main concern was that it would not allow her to be near her family as she would like to be. I think we would all agree that in relationships there is always compromise. I saw in her post that they[B] both[/B] agree that they are unhappy in Nevada....that he's looking at Utah as a place in which they would both benefit in terms of financial security. Susanna wants to be near her family.....where is the compromise???? From the little bit I got from her post her husband already has a job and she will be finishing up school and need to find one. I do not think her husband should make the entire decision, but there are times in marrriage when there is no compromise that we need to look at where things must bend. Being near her family would obviously be more of a financial strain on two people relocating and looking for new jobs. The decision clearly shouldn't be solely made on being near family and that is why I brought the Biblical guidance into the picture. I know as a woman that when it comes to making decisions in a marriage I had to put my husband first in terms of letting go of my close family ties. And he has had to make sacrafices in terms of putting me and my feelings ahead of his mother's. So long as we could do this then we knew that we were making the best decision for our family. Susanna cannot put her need to be near family ahead of her husband's needs. There are other bigger things to look at in making the best decision for her family. That is all that I meant to say and I expressed numerous times to Susannna that she needs to compromise looking at where her and her husband could get the best jobs and have the least stressful future. If her husband will be stressed in the long run it may very well affect his health. To move to be near her family should obviously not be the deciding factor for the overall decision.

I apologize if I came across as if decisions in a marriage should be solely the mans because people who know me well enough here should know that is not the way I feel. Susanna and her husband should make a list of the pros and cons of any move and pick the best place that will secure the best future addressing both of their needs.....Goody :wave:[/QUOTE]


Goody, thanks so much for taking the time to explain...I'm very sorry if I misunderstood some of what you said, and I certainly didn't mean to attack you or your beliefs. You know that I respect you and your wise advice immensely, and now that I better understand, I agree with what you are saying about compromise and bending. I also feel that those are extremely important qualities in a marriage, as long as both partners are on equal terms with equal decision-making power. I know you feel the same way about treating all people equally--that's what makes your advice so compassionate and insightful. Susanna, I also really hope that you and your husband reach a suitable compromise without this dispute causing more stress and tension in your marriage. Good luck and take care! :)
[QUOTE=Snails]Goody, thanks so much for taking the time to explain...I'm very sorry if I misunderstood some of what you said, and I certainly didn't mean to attack you or your beliefs. You know that I respect you and your wise advice immensely, and now that I better understand, I agree with what you are saying about compromise and bending. I also feel that those are extremely important qualities in a marriage, as long as both partners are on equal terms with equal decision-making power. I know you feel the same way about treating all people equally--that's what makes your advice so compassionate and insightful. Susanna, I also really hope that you and your husband reach a suitable compromise without this dispute causing more stress and tension in your marriage. Good luck and take care! :)[/QUOTE]

Hi, Stacy :wave: I'm glad I restored your faith in me...sometimes when there is very little info in a post it is difficult to give the advice needed. Thats why i asked questions regaring employment etc. And I just realized in rereading the post that this is all 2 years away and with commuication and compromise things are bound to change in terms of coming to a mutually satisfying decision. Also...there's a mutual friend of ours "locked" away in a thread of mine that could once in a while use your smile and support.......Goody :angel:





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