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My boyfriend and I have been going together three years. We've casually talked about getting married in the past, him being the one not ready. This past week we had conversations about getting married and buying a house together and what we're looking for, etc. There are a number of things he does/did that bother me because (A) I think he's being stubborn or (B) he could do things better to save time/money. Some examples:

We live in a climate that has very snowy winters and temperatures often in the teens and twenties. He absolutely refuses to wear a winter coat. On the worst days, he won't wear more than a pullover sweater, yet complains about the weather. I think it looks stupid when we walk into somewhere and he has his shoulders up to his ears because it's freezing, but he's too stubborn to wear a coat.

He takes about eight different vitamins and supplements. When I went to his house, they were all over the counter taking up space. He brings a pocketful to my house and chokes them down...refusing to drink something with them, which again I think is being stubborn. I told him he could take a multi-vitamin (one pill) and save money. He said, (sigh) "I know"....but keeps on doing it his way. :rolleyes:

He told me about a month ago he borrowed a friend's computer for a couple days to look up a few things. He had to haul that out of his friend's house to his, connect it, spent an hour or so looking things up, had to disconnect it, and carry it back in his friend's house. IMO - stupid! He could have asked me or his friend to look something up for him or used the computer at the library. He makes things difficult for himself!

When we were talking about houses and things we would like, he said he'd want a house near the transit station. He said occasionally he doesn't feel like driving to an appointment after work so he might want to drive to the transit station, take the train, then have to transfer to a bus, then do it in reverse going home. Hello??? So instead of being at his appointment in 20 minutes, that procedure would probably take 45!!!


If we were married, I would find it hard to not say things about the way he does stuff, but then he'd probably think I'm a nag. Am I being picky that these things bother me? I think he's being wasteful with time, money, etc. and could do things wiser. He seems very set in his ways to me and probably wouldn't change, but instead be upset that I'm bothered about it. I get annoyed with things that don't make sense....and the way he does things just doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps I shouldn't marry him. Am I being silly about this or would his behavior bother you too? Comments please?
[QUOTE=Hangin in There]Yes, he is generally a decent human being and a gentleman. I guess I get overly annoyed by what I call dumb ways of doing things. Another thing that bugs me is I feel he's somewhat of a sucker. A while back, he had me look up a couple things on the computer. One was something to buy, which was a waste of money and would only add to his already messy house...they were out of them...the other, I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was some scam that most people would have seen through. I think if he would have had his own computer, he would have been taken in and ripped off. I just think all these things combined - refusing to wear a coat, hauling a computer in and out for a couple hours, taking twice as long to do things as necessary, buying 8 separate vitamins when you can take one - just makes him not seem very bright, IMO. Yes, I love him, but this behavior bothers me.[/QUOTE]



When you were in other relationships, did they other men bug you too? In just about all of your post you add something else that bugs you. I have a feeling theres a lot more too. I feel kinda bad for the guy, it doesnt sound like you think he even breaths right! I get this visual of a poor man choking on vitimins while trying to carry a computer to his car with no coat on! :eek:

The way you talk about him and the "tone" of your posts give me the impression that you are the one that wears the pants in the relationship so-to-speak. Is that correct?

We all do things that bug our partners. I wonder what your boyfriend is holding in about you! He may very well be having the same feelings as you are.

Marilyn





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