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This is going to be a strange post, but I'm wondering if anyone else has has any experience with this.

Here is the background. I have two best friends who live the same community as me. We are not from here, but all moved here for our careers. We are all in the same profession, have similar interests, but are very different in many ways. I love both of them dearly. I have a great boyfriend who I have been with for one year. I love him very much and love spending time with him, but I do still like to be independent and enjoy activities with my friends. One of my best friends has been with her boyfriend for 5 years and will probably get engaged soon - she also has an independent streak in her. Then there is the second friend, I'll call her "A". "A" is a wonderful girl, but is tends to be less independent. For months when she didn't have a boyfriend, she would cry every night on the phone to her Mom.

Recently "A" started dating a guy I'll call "D". "D" is a super nice guy, a little cheezy, but nice. (Example: He had a 45 minute conversation with me two weeks ago at brunch and the other day he [B]forgot my name!). [/B] But since dating this new guy, it is all she talks about, thinks about. She has also started dropping us for the guy. For example, there are certain things we always do together such as going to the gym and watching the OC. One night she had promised my other friend she would watch it with her, but when "D"'s mother called saying he was coming home early from a vacation, she totally forgot about my other friend and ditched her. She has also done this to both of us on numerous occasions mostly related to the gym. "A" has also started to act differently when he is around. She doesn't act her normal funny quirky self, but simply sits next to him and smiles and looks at him. Another strange thing is that recently when buying new clothes, if he doesn't comment on them, she takes them back. I know she's probably falling in love with him, but I'm afraid that she's giving too much too quickly and will lose herself. She did it before with another guy and it ended terribly. They have only been dating for 6 weeks.

I know some people would say that I and my friend are jealous, but we really aren't. I love my bf and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. I just worry that she is obsessed with him and is pushing us away.

Does anyone have any advice re: this?
[QUOTE=tdot]Then there is the second friend, I'll call her "A". "A" is a wonderful girl, but is tends to be less independent. For months when she didn't have a boyfriend, she would cry every night on the phone to her Mom.

Recently "A" started dating a guy I'll call "D". "D" is a super nice guy, a little cheezy, but nice. (Example: He had a 45 minute conversation with me two weeks ago at brunch and the other day he [B]forgot my name!). [/B] But since dating this new guy, it is all she talks about, thinks about. She has also started dropping us for the guy. For example, there are certain things we always do together such as going to the gym and watching the OC. One night she had promised my other friend she would watch it with her, but when "D"'s mother called saying he was coming home early from a vacation, she totally forgot about my other friend and ditched her. She has also done this to both of us on numerous occasions mostly related to the gym. "A" has also started to act differently when he is around. She doesn't act her normal funny quirky self, but simply sits next to him and smiles and looks at him. Another strange thing is that recently when buying new clothes, if he doesn't comment on them, she takes them back. I know she's probably falling in love with him, but I'm afraid that she's giving too much too quickly and will lose herself. She did it before with another guy and it ended terribly. They have only been dating for 6 weeks.

I know some people would say that I and my friend are jealous, but we really aren't. I love my bf and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. I just worry that she is obsessed with him and is pushing us away.[/QUOTE]
I agree, the best thing you can do for her is be supportive of her relationship.

[I]If[/I] she is losing herself in this guy, well unfortunately that is something a person must go thru for themselves and something that is typically only learned the hard way.
Pointing this out to her, or making him feel he is not someone she should be with is only going to send her running deeper into HIS arms.

The best you can do is be there for her, listen to her, and be understanding.





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