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Hello!

I'm no stranger to using the internet dating sites to meet someone, so I know the kind of games that go on. That being said, I'm just not sure whether I should write the following guy off or not. I used to be the type to give someone way too much of a "benefit of a doubt" (to the point of being made a fool of) - but over the past few years I've developed less and less patience when it comes to someone I suspect is pulling my proverbial chain and I can be very quick to write someone off if the least little thing seems amiss - - - so my dilemma then becomes "am I overreacting?"

We began communicating through a particular Christian Personals site. He lives locally, seems like a really cool, sharp, witty guy. However, after a couple weeks of mailing back and forth through the site, I began to get a sense that maybe he was not really interested in me but maybe just being polite - though he would often write me a lot and sometimes would make subtly flirty little references. I wasn't sure how to read him.

He surely didn't spend much time on the site.........he'd read my mail, reply (sometimes not writing too much but promising to write more later) and then disappear until the next day. Sometimes he'd be gone for a couple of days. The "cautious" side of me wondered if maybe he was really involved with someone (in real life) and that's why his time was so limited......that or else he was "seeing" someone he'd met through the site and didn't want that person to see him hanging out there anymore.

This past Tuesday I received a very brief letter from here there, very vague in fact, stating he was going to be tied up for the next while and he'd write more when he could. That struck me as odd.......if he was going to be busy due to work, say, a business trip, why not just say that? Why be so cryptic?

I found him a little difficult to get to know because there was so much wit and humor in his letters that at times it seemed he was using humor to avoid talking about himself. He'd promised me a week ago that he'd send me a picture soon - but a week went by and still nothing.

Finally last night I figured this is all pointless..........so I sent him one last letter (not being mean or rude at all) and just told him that I got a sense he really wasn't interested...that he was more or less just "window shopping" and content to just have this ongoing witty banter but nothing more substantial. I told him that if I was somehow wrong, I apologized...but that my membership there was going to run out today and that he had my email address offsite and that the ball was in his court if he was interested.

I was rather surprised to get an email from him this morning. OH...I should add.........on a few occasions he'd write to me through the site, saying he was tired and was heading to bed early (at 8pm at night).........but I'd see the next morning that'd mailed me at like 1am. He did this on 2 occasions. On another occasion he wrote and said, "I'm going for a jog now..I'll write later or tomorrow"....and then again, he did write me later...but at 1am.

So anyway, this email this morning was rather flattering.........now unless it was all just a bunch of smooth baloney, he indicated that he was interested in getting to know me better. He even gave me his cell phone #. (and no, I haven't yet called him - I'm not one to chase a guy or appear too eager)

So I wrote him back...........he wrote me back this afternoon..........barely anything to say, a rather disjointed letter..........suggested we get together for a coffee sometime during this coming week..indicating that weekends aren't good because he has his son. States he worked today and has his son TOMORROW. ........so of course I was thinking to myself............so if he doesn't have his son until tomorrow, why couldn't we meet for coffee tonight if he's soooo interested? And he's basically told me that his weekends are always busy because of his son so that if we ever wanted to get together, it could only be during the week. Well that could be a convenient way of trying to hide the fact that he's already involved with someone, hey?

I just get this sense that he's not totally being straight............but I could be way off base. What do you make of any of this? Thanks.
I agree, if it's this hard and you haven't even had a face to face yet, my gosh!! I've been on line dating for about a year and a half now, on and off, and don't really have a lot of good things to say about it, mainly because of this type of thing. It's so hard to "read" these guys, and to tell if they're really interested or just "seeing what's out there." It seems to me that someone who is really interested in getting his love life on track and who is genuinely interested in would have made plans to see you by now. Two weeks may not seem all that long to him, but if he's emailing you almost every day, a couple of times each day, but still doesn't seem that excited about meeting you in person? I don't know if he's snowing you, but something just doesn't smell right. It's also suspicious that he's going to be "busy with work" for a while. I'd say continue your search, keep communicating with other guys, and wait and see what happens with this guy. I'd say the ball's in his court. If he's really interested, he'll come and get you. If he doesn't establish regular contact, ask you "hey, can we meet, when and where?" then you have your answer.





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