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Thanks for your great support everyone!

Nini I did take your advice seriously! I am concentrating on my new job and I am trying to tell myself he is not my boyfriend anymore.. it's so hard though.. not to think of him that way! but I guess what helps that we are in a long-distance so we don't see each other. the thing is I feel like I cannot separate myself from him completely and walk away! I don't know! I know that he is also a nice guy and very sensitive too..and I know that now he is not being fair because he still contacts me and gets upset if I don't contact him straigh away.. but there are still so many things about him that are nice.. I don't know I guess I am still in love and it's still so fresh but at least i am trying to be strong here and I am not calling him 20 times a day asking him for another chance! I am happy that I am managing this well!

I have been taking my distance recently and I think I am much stronger than before, however, I feel I am kind of manipulated into the situation! It seems to me that it has affected him the fact that I haven't been there for him when he expected me to reply so that's why he said in his last email he was worried I didn't want to reply! I feel he is still attached or am I wrong? Anyway, I feel like I am slowly moving on myself but I feel like he won't really let me.. it's just that I signed online because I wanted to catch up with a friend of mine and he was there again! I haven't been on msn recently because of him but I feel it's not fair towards my friends.. so anyway, he said hi and he asked me about my day.. so I kept it brief and said it wasn't too bad and I said to him about my job.. and I asked him about his! Oh my gosh, he sounds really unhappy! He says it wasn't a good day as usually! when I asked why he said that he is not happy about his life! he said he is pissed off with everything and that he doesn't care about anything anymore! I didn't go into emotional speech because I tried to control myself! But what do you say to that? It sounds worrying in a way! I said to him that I received his email and I said thanks for that! and then I asked him about the Mongolian ex-housemate that he used to live with here and aout their weeeknd and he said that it was nice and that he enjoyed it.. I replied and said "so not everything is bad then" and he said "yes but that's not enough! having nice weeknds sometimes it's not enough for me to be happy" but then he said "but I won't complain because it's not good to complain.." I said to him that it's good to complain sometimes to get it out! He said (typical male) "I am fine! I am completely fine!" I said if it's something to do with his job or where he lives and he replied "please stop asking me questions.. it's not very pleasant! I said I am fine!" I said "I was just trying to be supportive" and he said "I don't need it! im not happy with my life and noone can change that!" I couldn't help myself and I asked him if it means he is also unhappy about me and he said "no. don't worry. please don't start again...." So I stopped asking questions and I said to him "i am here if you need to talk" and I decided to finish the conversation because I can see he is in the world of his mind! so I kept it all calm and said good night to him and he said good night back.

I am going to keep distance from him now! I won't go on msn for a while now and I won't send him emails! nothing! you know it's so hard! I am such a soft-hearted person in a way that I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't care that he is unhappy and to deal with it on his own now that he is not my boyfriend anymore! I just can't do it!! I was polite to him and I was trying to be understanding so he can't blame me for anything! I think if I didn't receive the apologetic email from him today I would not be there for him!

You probably all think Iam wrong because I am still there.. talking to him and so on... but I managed not to ask him about us and our relationship!





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