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Hi everyone! I hope you all had a nice Easter holiday! :wave:

HE went back yesterday afternoon. It was a very nice weekend actually! It was hard at times but the strange thing was that HE was so caring, sweet and he behaved to me as if we are still together.. he was holding my hands, he was pretty affectionate with me!

When I met him on Friday evening it was a little strange between us. I guess we both didn't really know how to behave with each other because we were always used to being together as a couple and suddenly we were supposed to behave differently. It was quite amusing because he suddenly asked me where did I go on Thursday evening afer talking to him on msn. He was really curious. I said I had an arrangement.. and he asked what kind of arrangement.. and we started to tease each other.. I said to him 'why do you want to know?" and he said "tell me.. where did you go?" and I made up a story that I went to a party.. and he said "I see to meet your new boyfriend?" .. I said "well there was a guy who asked for my number".. it wasn't serious conversation. but it was quite amusing how curious he was! he then said "im sure you ended the conversation so suddenly because you wanted me to ask you where you went". I said "that's not true.. I really had to go"..

anyway, the next day we spent the day sightseeing! We were walking around, taking photos.. he was holding my hand and was hugging me.. it was really nice but at the same time it was hard of course! We then decided to go for a small lunch and he actually started to talk about us.. I said to him that it's nice of him he decided to spend the Easter break with me! he said he is happy to hear that! He asked me if I spoke to my parents and told them that we are broken up! I said yes. he said he spoke to his mum about it. I asked him what did he tell her and he said that it was because of the distance, that it's hard to have a relationship with someone who doesn't live in the same country and that i wanted to be more seriuos than he was ready. It was quite sad at that time.. I said to him that it's quite confusing because we are behaving as if we are still together and he said that he knows and that if I prefer being distant with each other he will respect it! Well, we talked a little bit more and he said to me that he is being honest with me that he thinks that it's not black and white. he said that he spoke to his flatmates about me and told them that he is still coming to see me for the Easter and appareantly they told him that he shouldn't and that once you break up with someone you shouldn't keep seeing each other and you should just break up! He said he was a little annoyed with them because he doesn't feel that way! he said that he would respect if I asked for no contact but he said that maybe we both will experience two other relationships and then we will realise that we still want to be together afterwards! he says that of course he will have to respect if I meet someone else. But he kept saying that of course he would not be happy if I decided to stop our contact and if I decided to find someone else but he said he would have to respect it! I said to him that I don't want to feel like I am here filling the gap before he meets someone new and then he will drop me and will not know me anymore! He said that he will not do that to me.. he said that he will want to hear from me and he will still want to contact me.. He said it will be a test for us!

Anyway, after that we decided to go for a walk and to lie down in a park. I received a text message from a friend of mine and he was asking who it was and whether it was "my new boyfriend"! i could feel he was a little afraid if I met someone else! In the evening we went to see a musical! It was great! We both really enjoyed it! Again he was holding me and hugging me! After that we had to run to catch a train to go back to my place! When we got on the train.. he was telling me how much he enjoyed the musical and how much he is bored with his job and basically he was telling me how he feels about his job and what he wants to do and so on.. it felt good because he was sharing his worries with me.

The next day we cooked together.. when we met we used to cook together.. we really enjoy it! it was really nice.. we had fun and it was enjoyable! then we went for a walk in my city. it's where we met so he was quite nostalgic.. we went to a fun fair and then for a dinner and then we hired a DVD and spent the evening watchig a movie.. it was quite a relaxing day! yesterday he had to leave. it was really hard actually! The thing was because it was a bank holiday he couldn't get any seat on a coach so he had to take a train. he had an open dated ticket for a coach which is valid for 3 motnhs. he gave me the ticket. I then told him that I can go with him to take him to the airport. he started to say that he thought it was too expensive for me to pay for that.. just to spend 2 more hours on the train with him... but I insisted that I would like to go with him ... I couldn't let go.. I started to worry that it's the last time we see each other and he said that he doesn't think so that I can come and visit him sometimes.. I was sad and I coudn't help crying and he hugged me! I said to him again that I would like to go with him to see him off at the airport and he got a little annoyed and he said that each time if i am sad like this when we are saying good bye that he shouldn't be so close wtih me and he should keep his distance with me because it's hard for me and he said he doesn't want to see me hurting and he said we are now as if we are still together and then he said I don't want you to get confused!.. I said to him that it's not fair what he has just said because we spent such a weekend together.. so then we said bye.

After a little while he sent me a text saying he was sorry about what happened at the train station and that we would not be able to sit next to each other because it's full and he then said "thanks for the weekend! it was nice!"

Anyway, yesterday night i was online and he signed in and he said I just wanted to let you know that I am back.. and he asked me if I was ok.. I said yes I am ok and I asked him if he was angry and he said "no, why would I be?" I said to him that I had a really nice weekend with him and that I don't regret it at all and that I am not suffering.. I don't want him to think that because he came here that it hurt me.. because it's not true and he said "I hope so".. I said that it was just hard to say bye.. and I said to him that I enjoyed the weekend and it meant a lot to me tha the came to see me..

guys what do you think? i guess the worst thing is that he behaved with me here as if we are a couple and he was actually really caring and sweet and then once he was leaving he became a little annoyed and distant.. how do I behave with him now?

PS Lena I am so sorry you had to go through this.. thanks a lot for sharing your sad story with me and with us..
[COLOR=DarkOrchid]I have to agree with Nini and Snails.

I was wondering if you had a sexual relationship with him while he was here, because you were so emotionally attached to him. I thought this probably did happen.

My ex did this to me also, wanted to be friends and have sex still. I kept letting it happen, but got to the point where I couldn't take feeling "down" anymore. I got angry and then finally stopped contacting him. A month went by and out of no where he called me. It was late at night too. I wonder what he wanted...HMMMMM

Bottom line is I didn't give in and even though my heart was racing that he called me and I still LOVED HIM, I KNEW he didn't love me and I didn't let the convo go on longer then 3 minutes. I ended it and asked him not to contact me again. I told him I had a new boyfriend (even though I didn't, but soon after met a wonderful man and now I'm happily married!!) and he left me alone. It felt good for me and as time passed I got over him.

May I suggest you go to counseling? I tribute me getting over my ex to my therapist who helped me SO MUCH.

I truly think you are only hurting yourself if you go on like this. You can't afford to be friends with someone that is no longer emotionally attached to you. He doesn't have those feelings that you have.

Friendships are special, and they don't make you sad, love is not suppose to hurt, and I don't think in either case you are happy, so I think you really should assess this and move on.[/COLOR]
I knew once I reply to him something is going to go wrong! I am feeling down and upset! I sent him an email back about an hour ago and I said:

im sorry I wasn't able to answer earlier..I have had a lot on my mind recently and I was away for the whole weekend and didn't get back till late last night! thank you for your messages! It's very nice of you to think about me and wish me good luck for today! I spent my weekend with friends of mine! went to the beach and to pubs and a night club.. it was such a nice and warm weekend!

My first day at work was quite good! It was just an introductory day and I met some of my new colleagues. I hope you are well and had a good weekend too!

What I said in the email was honest and what I would write to a friend of mine... I know that you suggested that I should not apologise but I did because he sent me 3 messages so I felt a little bad because we normally reply to each other within a very short time..

anyway, he replied like 30 minutes later and said the following:

are u not ok? u say u have a lot on your mind, what is it? Is it because of us?

I'm happy u could enjoy the weekend with friends it seems u had much fun.

i spent a good weekend enjoying the sun. my previous housemate (the mongolian
girl was here) with her boyfriend were here, so i showed them my city.

are u sure u were happy i sent u an email and a text message? i expected u
could answer me but maybe i was wrong...

good night

xxx

What does he mean? What does his last sentence mean? He sounds angry and disappointed that I didn't answer to his messages ealier! But I did send him an email and I did say I was sorry! He sounds worried that I have a lot on my mind because of us.. well it's not only because of us.. yes partly but I have been thinkig about my new job and other things.. do you think he is not going to write to me again? I feel that he won't send me a message again! I feel that I ruined everything because I didn't answer to his messages! I am so sad
What should I reply to him? But I am honestly happy he sent me the messages! I missed him and I honestly meant it that it was nice of him to think of me..What should I say back? I am so scared now! He sounds upset with me! I don't want to loose him! I still miss him so much and I still love him so much!I am in tears!!!! I have signed on msn because a friend of mine asked me to have a chat and he was signed on! I thought he would not be anymore because it's late at night! He said hi and then he asked me to his email.. he then said that if i prefer he will not contact me because I don't answer to him! I said I honestly couldn't asnwer earlier but he seemed tense and upset! He then said he is sorry and he tried to make a conversation and he asked me what is on my mind and I said nothing because I felt so upset that he was blaming me like this.. He said that he said he is sorry and he then said for god sake I apologised to you and you still keep going on! I said I am sad he doesn't trust me when I said that I am happy to receive his emails and I couldn't honestly answer.. he said "I said sorry for god's sake! What other language should I use so you can understand me"! I started to cry and he said "so how was today!" and I said "ok" and he said "that's all!? ok well you don't want to talk to me so Im going to bed! Bye!" I didn't say anything and he said "are you there? I said good night!" I said "good night" and I signed off but while I was signing off he said something else but I didn't receive it so I signed on again because I knew he was upset and he was still online but when I signed on back again he signed off! I cannot believe he was with me like he was! He said he won't send me messages anymore because I don't answer to them! I said to him that he seems a little tense with me again! He said that I don't understand him that once he says he is sorry I should just be ok and carry on with our conversation but i was upset to carry on as normal! I feel bad now that I didn't reply straight away! I think this is the END! I think now he won't talk to me ever again and he won't contact me ever again!! Why was he with me like this tonight? i didn't mean to annoy him but he was annoyed a lot with me! He didn't seem to be there for me today as he had promised he would be there! I am so sad Do you think I should send him an email to apologise? Do you think I was wrong? i mean I couldn't keep it cheery tonight with him because he was so tense! Do you think he expects me to react and send an email to him? Do you think I should be keeping in touch with him more often? do you think he will not talk to me again now? I feel so bad now! Please help!
You wouldn't believe what happened today

i'ts strange because just before I said that it was strange he hasn't been on *** for a while... anyway, just after I suddenly received an invitation to join chat but the email address was under my friend's name. this friend of mine is a guy with whom I have been hanging out a lot but it's clear that there would be nothing between us happening. anyway, I accepted his invitation and he started to chat to me..he asked me about my work and my weekend and I asked about his.. I said that I went out with my friends last night and it was fun. then I asked him how is his revision for exams going and suddenly he said that he should reveal something. he said I am not xxx, I am xxx! I felt heat coming to my face and my heart beating so fast! It was HIM, my ex-boyfriend!

He started to be quite nasty to me telling me "so you blocked me on ***, I am VERY disappointed with you." I said I did it because last time we talked he said he didn't feel very comfortable and he said to me to shut up! I was so shocked... anyway, he then said that he can't believe I blocked him and he said "so my trick worked... you would rather talk to xxx you fool" and then he said "so you are having fun". I said to him that he sounds angry and he replied "I have ****ing reasons to be upset. You want to stay in contact with me and then you block me!!" I said to him "I am disappointed because you chose not to come to see me at the end when you spent the weekend in London" and he said "don't talk to me! how do you know I was in London in the end" and I said to him because I could see he was offline! I said to him "you were the one who broke up and chose this so I blocked you because I wanted to protect myself and also I knew if I was on ***.. I would always want to talk to you" and he said to me "don't worry you don't have to protect yourself again because I will block you too like you did it to me!"

he also said to me to **** off.. I was getting really upset with this.. anyway, he then said "you block me on *** so you can then spy on me!" I said that I am not spying on him but I had to it as I said because last time he told me he didn't feel comfortable" and then he said "so you have to block me" (sarcastically). He said "I don't want to be using this false address so bye". I felt so guilty that I unblocked him and I asked him why has he done this and he said "oh you are back.. amazing! he said I haven't talked to you for so long! how are you?" I thought he was genuinly asking me how I was.. I said that I have been working a lot and he said "bad luck" He said that his work is ok! He then said "I should have played my game longer and I shouldn't have revealed so soon that it wasn't me! maybe I could have found out more about what have you been up to" I said to him that there is not a lot to find out and he said "iam sure there is..." Then he said "I am so offended you did this to me" he said "i want to forget you and I want to block you too" and I said ok and then I couldn't stand this anymore and said to him "if you want to block me ok do it because i don't care anymore! you are not understanding of my feelings at all and you only care about yourself! you are a nasty piece of work! i don't deserve to be treated like this! I don't want to have anything to do with you!! bye".

I felt so upset and so angry this time. I feel bad about what I have said to him because he emailed me immediately afterwards and said to me

did u really mean all u said at the end on ***?? that u dont care anymore at
all about me and i am a nasty piece of work and so on???
i would like u to answer to be completly clear with each other.

I haven't replied because I have too many things to say to him that I am upset about and I feel extremely betrayed by what he had done.. he signed on with a false address and blamed me the whole time.. I feel so upset but I don't think I want to reply to him!

What does he want??? We are broken up since March and we haven't talked for 3 weeks and I thought he had forgotten about me and now I feel like he is still not letting it go, like he is jelous and upset that I don't talk to him.. what do you think? Have I done the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't have said to him that he is a nasty piece of work! maybe that was too much but he has offended me so much today! :( It's so sad!





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