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[QUOTE=M1K3L]I'm really not picky about looks.. I just want a girl to be about my height, and about avarage or a little overweight. That's all I really care about.. Just about my height, and simular body build as me, or maybe a little larger.

I am 5 feet, 4 inchs, I'm around 180 Lbs. I wear 36 size pants mens.

I just want a avarage looking girl, No supermodel, but I also don't want someone who is 2x my size.

That's my "dream" just to have a girl around my size or a little larger with a good personallity.

EVERY GIRL I've ever came close to dating have all been overweight. I don't mind full figured girls.. but when they are to the point where they are so overweight that's it's unhealthy.. It bothers me a lot.

But, I've noticed for some reason, I feel I can grow closer to the girls I don't find very attractive.

I'm going to give each and every one of these girls a chance.. I'm not going to walk away just because of their looks.. That's shallow. I WILL give them a chance at least.

Lots of guys my age are shallow.. I don't want to be shallow like that. I want to accept a person for who they are inside, not what I can see from the outside.

It does bother me.. a lot, I won't lie, but like others said, I've noticed looks seems to be less of an issue as you start dating more. I recently dated a girl I totally found unattracted. Next thing I know, we are french kissing and sitting on a beach.

On the topic of media.. I think media has had a bad effect on socity. All the new rap music videos, the new TV shows.. They are really shallow again overweight and unattractive people. I think it's caused a lot guys (and girls) to focus more on looks instead of personallity.

A good girl friend at work only focus's on a guys look... She talks about how cute a guy is, but then a week later she comes back almost in tears saying how badly she's treated.

I dated one girl I found attractive a long time, and it came back and bit me in the butt. I found out she was cheating on another guy with me...[/QUOTE]

I don't mean to be blunt here, but I think you first need to be realistic and realize that almost everyone ends up with someone who is close to the same level of attractiveness as they are. And with couples where one partner is significantly less attractive, there is usually an imbalance of power (money, fame, power, etc.) behind the mismatch. I am your height, and if I weighed 180 pounds and didn't find overweight men attractive, I might try to work to improve my health and fitness, and make some moderate effort to make the most of my looks. Guys that I've known have always considered me very attractive, and because of this, I have been fortunate enough to be pretty selective among many interested men. My friends are the same way, and it always amazes us when we're out (and especially now that I'm dating online) that some men doggedly persist in believing that they should be with a woman who is much younger or more attractive or richer than he is. Unfortunately, you have found out the hard way that dating someone considerably more attractive than yourself rarely works out well. I do agree with you completely that the emphasis our society places on physical beauty is absurd and damaging, but sadly that is the way the world is and always will be. I think it's admirable that you are willing to look past physical attraction and give girls a chance--that will serve you well in life, so please don't get frustrated and down on yourself because you haven't met "the one" yet. I know you aren't happy about this, but it is true what the posters here have been trying to tell you: while it would be really great if you could find love and settle down with someone just because you want to and feel ready, that just hardly ever happens. Almost everyone has at least a few failed relationships before they find the right person with whom to spend their life. While painful, these failed relationships provide valuable wisdom and insight into how to nourish and sustain a romantic partnership. So please, don't despair and try to be more patient with yourself...you are doing the best you can to find someone to love, but that will only happen when it happens. Trying to will it into happening is probably actually working against you--people have a very finely tuned radar that steers them away from anyone desperate to find love. Desperation, neediness, and dissatisfaction with life on your own are some of the most unappealing qualities out there, and a big part of the reason most people really do find love when they're not actively seeking it.

I don't think that you should be dating girls to whom you feel NO attraction whatsoever. As other posters have noted, yes, it's true that you can grow more attracted to someone as you get to know them/over time and that pictures can be misleading. However, it is also misleading and hurtful to date girls (and get their hopes up that you might be interested in a relationship with them) when you know that you're not nearly into them to the extent necessary to sustain a relationship. Especially for girls who are not all that attractive and probably not pursued by too many guys, that could be really painful (even if they never discover that your lack of attraction was the reason you and them didn't work out as a couple). Anyway, I don't mean to be too harsh here, but I think that you would benefit from gaining more life experience and maturity before you are in such a rush to settle down. It is important to be content and at peace with yourself before you commit to spending your life with another person--love is not always enough to sustain a relationship; timing, maturity, independence, self-esteem and wisdom, among other qualities, are also necessary. I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sure that it won't be long before a great girl comes along who you find attractive inside and out :).
PS--Great post, Stormgirl! As always, I admire and respect your advice, and hope Mike takes advantage of your insights.





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