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Hey Hunter,

I'm very sorry to say...but I think you already have your answer about this girl for now. She said she just wanted to be friends, which to me means, I don't want to date you. When I hear situations like this I always wonder if girls just use the, "lets just be friends" line to save face. You seem like a really nice and caring guy and honestly you could probably make her real happy...your not like her past 2 flames, who cheated and treated her bad with mind games! Maybe she just has a thing about her that attracts her to bad guys, I know many girls like that...and then in the end they whine and cry about why didnt it work and how could he have done that!

My advice to you, is don't lose hope...your name says it all "Hunter"...keep hunting and pursuing her...keep doing what you have been doing for the last couple of months...then maybe she will realize what she really needs in her life, is you....which to me, that's what she needs!

Good luck bud...keep us posted, we are here to help!
What do you mean, you lost her? If you guys were never romantically involved, than you don't "own" or "possess" her--she was never yours to lose! She may love you as friends, but you can't compare that to the love she feels for her boyfriends. You can't change her mind or convince her to love you if she doesn't feel it--that will only make you miserable. Please try to feel happy and normal again without a relationship with her, because it's not going to happen, no matter how bad you want it. I'm sorry that you have to go through such a hurtful experience, but there isn't anything else you can do. Therefore, while I agree with the first part of TAH's reply, I DEFINITELY don't think that you should keep pursuing her. I have a fair amount of experience with this--I've always had lots of male friends, including several who fell hard for me (but for whom I didn't have any romantic feelings). I felt really bad for rejecting their advances and hurting them, but at the same time, it wasn't my fault. I wasn't doing anything to encourage them or make them think I was interested in them as more than friends, and I couldn't make myself think of them romantically if I just didn't. It put both of us in a very awkward position, which only grew worse and worse if they didn't accept my feelings and back off right away.

This girl has made it very clear, over and over, that she has absolutely no interest in any kind of romantic relationship with you. If you really care for her, why don't you respect her feelings enough to stop pursuing her? You don't seem to be understanding that just because you love her DOES NOT mean you have any claim over her, any right to threaten and confront other guys about her, and any right to keep making her uncomfortable by refusing to take "no" for an answer. If I had a guy friend who expressed interest in me that kept trying and acting like he was somehow romantically involved with me (including accusing some guy I like of lying, confronting him, and threatening to harm him!!! :eek::eek::eek: :eek: !!!). I would be very creeped out and scared. I think she's being very understanding to continue being friends with her, unless of course she has no knowledge of your possessive and completely inappropriate actions. NO means NO, guys--if you ask a girl out and she says no, respect her answers? To ignore her wishes is delusional and intrusive (not to mention the same kind of thinking stalkers use!)

Please do yourself and your friend a favor and move on. She doesn't want a relationship or any other romantic connection to you, so why torture yourself by continuing to believe and hope that she'll change her mind? You obviously are a very caring person, and I'm sure you would make a great boyfriend, but you need to find a girl who wants to be with you. You may disapprove of her romantic choices, but you are only her friend, nothing more, and have absolutely no right to interfere and intrude in her personal life. I know as a girl that it's not too difficult for my male friends to realize that certain behaviors of hers (like hugging, seeking comfort from, doing platonic but date-like activities like having dinner and seeing movies together, etc) do not mean or imply that she wants anything more from you than platonic friendship, like she has with her female friends. The way to find out if she wants more than friendship from you is to ask--if she says she only wants to be friends, than accept that that is the way she feels and that there is no chance of anything romantic developing. I've had guy friends act kind of like you are, like they're my boyfriends, and get upset or jealous when I date or hang out with other guys, who try to be inappropriately affectionate or romantic with me, and who act like--and mislead other people into thinking that--we are a couple. It's very uncomfortable for me and has ultimately ruined several close friendships. So if you care about her and want to continue being her friend, please stop acting like you are her boyfriend, because you are not. There is nothing you can do to change that if she isn't interested in being more than friends--I'm sorry that things turned out that way, but refusing to act accordingly isn't going to make that fact any less true.





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