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Relationship Health Message Board

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Stormgirl, you are a sweetheart, not to mention caring, wise, and incredibly perceptive and insightful. Mandy, please don't be turned off from this board just because you may not have received the answers you wanted. The vast majority of posters here have a great deal of experience with dating and relationships, and all we want is to support you and help you determine the best possible solution to this situation. Mandy, I know you love this guy and think that this depth of feeling is enough to keep your relationship afloat, but this guy doesn't seem to be acting accordingly. If he had any interest in a serious, monogamous relationship with you, he's had plenty of time to present that opportunity to you. But while he is your first love and your first sexual partner, that does not mean he is someone that you should be with, for the sake of your own emotional well-being. He seems to have no conscience whatsoever about his promiscuity--of course I am extremely sorry that it has come to this, but nonetheless, we have ascertained that your boyfriend was not at all faithful to you. Please take this opportunity to make a clean, free, uncomplicated break with him and live for yourself and your dreams, not him. This guy is in way too deep for you to avoid being dragged down right next to him...the only way for you to avoid such a fate is to stop all contact with him immediately.

Mandy, please don't put yourself through anymore of this terrible, torturous, uncertainty. The guy you've been pining over for years had never made any attempt to make you part of his's time to take care of yourself. It's time to start caring about yourself, being your own best friend, and not letting a selfish, repressed man dictate the terms of your dating relationship. You deserve much better, and this guy has clearly proven that he is unwillling to give up other women for you. Mandy, sweetie, I hate to say this, but he just doesn't want to be with you. All the boyfriends I've had and known have tried to move mountains to avoid losing their beloved girlfriends, and this man never wanted you to have any life on your own without being in constant fear of his leaving and therefore never able to relax. This means he was too insecure to carry on a healthy, appropriate relationship with a medical professional. It's very important to learn the difference between someone you love, cherish, and possess (though the line can give way quickly) and someone you hate because he cannot give you the unlimited love and devotion he demands.

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