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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Online Dating
Apr 10, 2005
[QUOTE=evy38]God, I hate all these stupid, stupid games! :nono: Dating books for women come with an entire list of Do's and dont's to keep a guy pursing her. You would think we are still 10 years old and playing "Grown up" games. Truely, I almost think I'd rather be alone, then go through all this FAKE crap to have a relationship. Somebody explain to me how two people really get to know each other when they aren't even relating to each other honestly? It's just crazy. No wonder so many people can't meet someone. No wonder so many relationships fall apart. It seems to me if two people can survive an honest beginning, they would have a better chance of staying together, warts and all. :) Of course, it's possible I'm being naive. Wow, I haven't been that for a few years now. What's wrong with me? :)[/QUOTE]

I don't know where you're getting this from...I don't think Heartland or anyone was saying they encourage playing games, manipulating guys, being fake, and particularly lying. Anyway, I don't know what you're referring too but it sounds like you misinterpreted something that clearly hit a very sore spot. I have never followed any set of rules or tried to play games and deceive potential dates...I find your whole diatribe about being fake and not starting relationships a little offensive, because I don't think anyone here is like that or advocates that. And the people like Goody and Heartland who are discussing this are both happily married, and I have had quite a few content and committed long term relationships compared to most people my age. I don't think anyone here has a problem with all their relationships failing or never really getting started...maybe you're really venting about yourself? I don't know, but I think we all agree that it's best to be honest and genuine with people all the time, particularly when dating. I also think it's important to gauge how the other person feels and proceed cautiously when you first start dating someone...actually, this has always worked well for me, as every guy I've dated repeatedly so far became a serious boyfriend. I've never been fake, or played games, or followed someone else's rules about dating, always just gone with my instincts, but I don't think there's anything wrong with seeking the opinions of people who you respect and trust. Anyway, Evy, it sounds like you're going through a tough time and frustrated with your dating life...I hope you can get some answers and resolutions from that guy at your work soon. It's pretty cowardly of him to leave you hanging like that and if I was in your shoes, I would force him to stop being coy and playing games and just be honest with you. I'd personally rather just know if he's interested or not, one way or another, than be confused and uncertain about his feelings.

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