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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi there Storm,

I'm so sorry you're still having a really tough time of it...I am too, if that makes you feel any better, although I'm also able to have periods of time when I completely forget about it and actually feel happy and have fun. I hope you have at least a few of those good times too to break up the painful time you're going through. I guess you and I both were probably living in little worlds and shutting out some external factors that ultimately proved too much to shut out :confused:. At least that's what happened to me, between the onset of my chronic pain after a year, the doctors/stress/medications, and Patrick's family, I guess we really didn't stand a chance. And yet we've always loved and cared for each other so much and been extremely kind to each other. Even through the last terrible month, Patrick was as sweet and gentle as he could possibly be, and I just can't bring myself to be angry at him or feel better off without him :confused:. All I really want is for him, and me too I guess, to be happy again. I'm really angry at his family though, for deliberately sabotaging me (as they would have sabotaged any relationships their sons had) for their own selfish ends, in order to regain complete control over Patrick and have no barriers to their manipulative efforts :mad:

I would highly recommend not waiting any longer to pack up the remainder of his belongings and get them (at the very least) out of your sight. It is an important step in moving on and also an effective way to grieve and to relieve some of your pent-up emotions...it's going to be hard for awhile yet, unfortunately, but I know we're both going to be OK. Do you have a friend or relative that you can lean on for company and support for the time being? I don't know about your relationship with your mom--mine has been great in terms of hanging out and taking care of me, but we've always been unusually close. I do think it helps if you have one or more people who look after you and try to take your mind off of things while you're going through this horrible time. I know this all sounds a lot easier than it actually is...believe me, I know. I don't feel like I'm really getting all that much better considering how I feel sometimes! But I also have chunks of time, even hours now, where I really don't think about Patrick or the breakup at all :).

You are obviously doing great and extremely strong if you are managing to get through work while going through such a painful ordeal. I know everything seems impossibly hard right now, so try just to get through each task at a time and not allow yourself to think too far into the future (and the past as well!). Over time, it will get a little easier, although I know nothing anyone says right now can really do much to heal your broken heart--if you're feeling like I'm feeling, I know that's true. But you are strong and brave and have so much going for you...there is no doubt in my mind that you will bounce back from this more energized and motivated than ever to find happiness, fulfillment, and love.

Oh by the way, I have some good news, finally! :) I had a date tonight that went wonderfully--I really liked the guy a lot and we hit it off great. There are also a half dozen other guys I've been emailing with regularly for awhile now and who I'll probably meet soon. Some are stupid Republican religious guys but the rest of the ones I've been talking to so far seem to be my type. The guy I dated tonight was so polite, sweet, and genuine. He doesn't drink or smoke pot or anything at all but he's quite a character and has a strong personality, just like me and what I like in a guy. Not to mention, he's really hot!! :D I've always been a little bit boy crazy, kind of like guys who just love women, so even while I'm sad, I can still find a pleasant distraction in flirting with sexy men...mmmmm. Well, I'm way off topic here, and off to bed. Have a great day (night?) Storm, and I hope you're feeling a little better.





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