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Hey Storm,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time today...it's definitely going to hurt for quite some time. That's pretty unavoidable when you have a broken heart. Actually, this is the first time a guy has left me or broken my heart out of half a dozen serious long-term relationships. It's really a horrible kind of pain to have someone you love you so deeply just ripped away from you suddenly...I am just really sorry you're going through it. I'm having a bad day, too, it's definitely still very tough and painful for me to get through some days. The good part is that some days are finally starting to be happy all the way through, usually when I've been busy with friends and family. So while the hard times will take awhile to go away, it won't be long before you are able to have happy moments where you can smile and laugh and (mostly at least) forget about losing him for a minute :).

I really hope things continue to get better for you as each day passes. It's great that you're surrounded by people who love and support you :) and that you've been keeping busy work-wise. The faster you can make this time go by and the more you can distract yourself from thinking about the breakup, the better off you'll be. Remember that it's inevitable that you'll have some really tough moments for awhile still--that's normal and okay; allowing yourself to cry and mourn sometimes will help advance your healing process. Living alone now in the same place where Patrick and I were so happy to make a home together is really devestating sometimes...I just don't know what I'm going to do next, and I don't want to make any significant, long-term decisions when I'm still this emotional and distraught. There are times when I see things that remind me of him and just completely break down crying and gasping for breath like I've been hit in the chest.

I tried to keep myself from thinking about Patrick any more than I have to by packing up all his stuff and covering it with a blanket the first night he left. I also collected everything around here that reminded me of him and put it away in the closet where I won't come into contact with it. But there's only so much you can do when you still love someone and can't keep what happened off your mind for very long. It's so hard, sometimes I don't know if I'll ever really get over it, because I was so happy with Patrick and he was always so gentle, sweet, and loving to me. I genuinely think he still loves me as much as I love him but just lost hope of finding happiness within our relationship because he's been miserable for so long, since way before we met. I said goodbye to him for good, essentially, on Sunday night, when he left to go back to his parents, family, and hometown, and he was sobbing uncontrollably and seemed to be doing terribly. I think Patrick is more unhappy than ever, which makes me sadder than anything else does, because all I really want is for him to be happy. He's been so wonderful to me that I care more about how he feels than about how I feel, and I know he's having a terrible time lately...besides I am a lot stronger, more resiliant, and a lot less sensitive and emotionally fragile than Patrick. It breaks my heart that it was primarily outside factors, rather than a lack of love, compatibility, or happiness together that did us in. But Stormgirl, we are both lucky that we can walk away knowing that we loved them as much as we possibly could, gave the relationships everything we had, and would have done anything to make those guys happy if they would have met us halfway. It was their choice to end things (I know just how you feel about being glad you're not the one that has to doubt the decision to leave) and you can move on with no regrets knowing you did all you could to make it work.

I'm glad you are able to vent here and talk about how you're doing from day to day. It's important and therapeutic to be able to get your feelings out and have as many friends as possible to support and encourage you to find happiness in your independence, because you weren't getting the happiness you deserve lately being in that relationship. Keeping a journal or writing letters that you never send may also be good ways for you to privately give voice to your emotions. Try not to let yourself think too far ahead at this point because it's so difficult to be optimistic and energetically excited about the future when you're going through such a painful experience. I have really found that just getting through each day (or if necessary, each hour) at a time and not putting pressure on myself to plan for the future has been extremely helpful. I also tend to worry and project my current concerns into the future, but this is useless and only results in more anxiety and despair. But do try to focus on the positive as much as possible when it comes to the present; keep yourself as busy and distracted as you can and look for the happy moments in each day :bouncing: :bouncing:. You're very strong and will bounce back just fine; the way you feel now is unavoidable but will fade as time passes. I really hope that tomorrow is a better day for you and that you get back to being content with your life and optimistic about the future before long...I have a feeling that you will :).





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