It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi guys...

Thanks for your continued support Stacy, it means alot. I have been a bit sad today, but I'm trying to keep busy and not dwell on it. Or I just keep reminding myself that he did a very wrong thing and there is nothing I can do to fix that, or him. Thankfully I will be starting a new job soon so between hiring someone to do my current job and learning my new job I should be fairly busy. And I'm also lucky in the respect that I have such great family and friends, and of course, this site. I know that I will be okay. Actually I haven't cried as much as I thought I would. Maybe only a couple of times. I feel sad and my stomach is a bit upset, but otherwise I'm getting there. I think because I know that I did all I could, and I have no regrets. Maybe because HE made the decision to end it, it's not hanging over me and I don't have a chance to second guess my decision, I just have to accept it and that made it easier for me. Maybe I still am living in hope that he will try to come back grovelling and willing to go to counselling and having learnt his lesson at almost losing me (yes it's a nice dream), but I must get myself out of that. I must accept reality. I don't want to, because it's painful, but I must. I think I'm just a bit numb at the moment. I don't want to feel anything just yet.

I keep checking to see if he has taken down his ad. But he hasn't. All he's managed to do is change the details of his email accounts. Maybe he had more to hide than I thought. All this does is prove that he knows he did the wrong thing, and at the moment has no remorse for it. What a kick in the gut after almost 7 years. I almost deleted his ad myself today, but I thought, what's the point? He may have a thousand others, and it's not my concern now I suppose. He wanted to go that way, so I can't stop him. I need to stop dwelling on this too and checking. It is serving no purpose to me at all.

I am afraid for my future. I like to have security, but I am afraid it may never happen. I realise this is silly, but I'm afraid. I can deal with being on my own, it's not a problem, but I don't want my life to be like that. I don't want to continue to get hurt again and again and become cynical and alone. But mostly, I am afraid of getting hurt and making the same mistakes again. I guess my confidence in myself has been shaken a little, and I hope I can regain that. I know I can't push it, but I hope one day I will see that ray of hope again. I really want to, and I want to feel happiness again. I almost forget what it's like. I've been in despair for over a year now, but put on a happy face so no one's the wiser, but it's time to pull myself out now.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling. It just helps to get out how I feel, even if no one reads it, it still helps. I'm glad to hear that your date/s have been going well Stacy and that you are doing okay. It gladens my heart to see a good guy come out on top.

Thanks again all...
[QUOTE=StormGirl]Oh I'm so happy that you are out there and having some fun dating, and I'm thrilled that you are meeting some winners. I wish I could do that. But even if they aren't the "ones" for you, at least you are out there giving it a shot and meeting new people and distracting yourself with yummy guys. I've been out of the dating game for so long I don't know how I'll go (if I ever get to the point where I want to date again). I'm really glad and proud of you Stacy. You may be hurting, but you are still getting on with your life. Hopefully I won't be far behind. May I ask you if you would be ready to settle down any time soon again if (for instance) you really saw some potential in one of the guys you met? Just curious... I am assuming that you probably wouldn't, but I think I would love to settle down again because I like the security and I hate dating different people - actually I hate dating. Although I guess I'll have a harder time finding the "one" if I don't experience different people...

Thanks again for your staunch support Stacy!!![/QUOTE]

That's a good question Storm...I think I would insist on taking things very slowly and hold off on committing to a relationship with anyone for at least a few months. However, I've said this in the past and forgot all about it when I met someone great :rolleyes:, so who knows...however, this is the first breakup that I've been this devestated by, so I think it would be only fair to a new guy to take it slow and make sure I'm completely ready for a new relationship before getting in too deep. I generally agree with you about dating, that it's nicer to have the security of a relationship, but I've spent most of my dating years so far in committed relationships. I do like lots of different guys and enjoy the freedom and independence of being able to date a variety of men without having to answer or be tied down to any one person. So for the time being, I'm going to try my best to keep things casual with all of the guys I meet--it's time I enjoy being young and single! I haven't done much dating (outside of relationships, I mean, just as you said) in a long time, so it feels a little weird to be on the market again, but so far it's been a lot of fun and a very welcome distraction from the breakup. I like having millions of guys to choose from and being free to date around and learn more about what I want from a relationship.

I hope you start dating again when you feel ready for the same reason, although you definitely shouldn't push yourself into it until you're sure you're ready. But when you do feel ready to get back out there and meet some new people, we can have fun trading stories and advice :). Besides, the only way to find a new and improved relationship is to meet different guys and see who you like. I know that you will eventually want to date again and find another relationship, even if that seems impossible to imagine now. You have too much love and other wonderful qualities to offer that I just can't believe you'll be single for long. Well, it will be interesting to see what happens in our romantic futures...I'm pretty optimistic for both of us, even if it takes quite awhile before we're feeling happy again and like we've successfully moved on. I'm trying to focus on the positive opportunities in the future, and I hope you can do the same, because it is pretty cool and exciting to be young and single and have an unlimited number of choices in terms of who to date and when to settle down again. Remember that it's your ex's loss, not yours, and that you're the one who's going to have a great future and find love, peace, and contentment again long before he ever will :D. I hope you're doing a little better today and still hanging in there...keep me posted, OK, and take care in the meantime :).





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:34 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!