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Re: Call from an Ex
Apr 12, 2005
Hi Sophia,
Your thread really sparked my interest and I could not resist posting. I dated my high school and college sweetheart for about 6 years. We went to college in different states so we had a long distance relationship for many years. We both dated other people while we were in college. He broke up with me after I left for college because he thought we should see other people. (At least he was honest and did not do it behind my back.) My heart was broken, but I was not going to stand around waiting for him and dated other people. Within a few months of the breakup, he came running back to me and told me he had made a mistake and there was no one that compared to me so we continued to date long distance.
We were each other's first love. While we were in college, I broke up with him several times because I felt that he was putting other things before me, but now when I look back I wonder if it was just due to his age and immaturity. I was always mature for my age and wanted a serious relationship.) Although I knew he really loved me, he was still in college and liked hanging out with the guys etc. After graduating from college, I moved to Manhattan and we continued to date long distance. He would fly in to see me during school holiday's.
Our final break up was December of 1981 when I thought he was once again not putting me first. That was our final breakup. Several years later, I received a call from one of his fraternity brothers, totally out of the blue. (In our previous breakups, he often had one of his friends call me first, to "test the waters" and see if I would be receptive to talking to him.) I was at this point, living in a totally different town with a new phone number so he had to do quite a bit of investigation to find me. My heart started racing and I got so nervous about the possibility of getting back together with him and getting hurt again that I rushed him off the phone. I told his friend that I was very happy and dating someone.

The point of all of this is that I have NEVER stopped wondering "WHAT IF." I have been married for almost 19 years to somone else, but have had alot of hurt and hardship in my marriage. I often think about my first love and wonder if it was just immaturity and if I had given him time to mature, maybe things would have worked out. (His dad used to refer to me as his future daughter-in-law) I got along great with his family and think of them occasionally as well. I think we have both been keeping track of each other through a class web site. (After I posted some information on the web site, he did too. Neither one of us has contacted the other, but I just have this really strong feeling that we both have thought about it.)

I don't know if things will work out with your ex-boyfriend, but I really think you whould give it a chance if you really loved him. Otherwise, you may always wonder "what if " I think this is the only way you will ever know for sure. Just be very careful. Only time will tell if he is ready for a serious committed relationship. Do not sleep with him, or you will get caught up only in your feelings for him and it will make it impossible to realistically evaluate the relationship.

Good Luck Sophia. I wish you the best. :angel:





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