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Relationship Health Message Board


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Ok, I'm going to try and make this story as simple as possible because it is pretty complicated.
When I was 16 my family moved back to Europe where both my parents were born and raised.
I was in my first year of college when I met my then boyfriend (now husband). At the time I had plans to go abroad and continue my education and so did he. So together we applied to various colleges and eventually left our home country. This was 9 years ago.
We came to the country we live in now and finished our degrees and did our Masters Degrees and have good jobs we have work visas for this country right now. Last year we got married and expecting our first little baby in September.
Now my husband and I both want to go home one day since our families are all still there and we want our children to grow up with cousins and grandparents.
Personally I am not happy there. I only lived there for four years and really was not happy. I never made any friends and although I love my family I am happier far away, there is too much drama. Both our families interfere in our relationship they always have. Every time we go home for a vacation we end up on the brinks of break-up. Even on our wedding day the families had to fight outside the church. His family is very possesive of him and even though they like me they isolate me.
The reasons I don't want to go back are simple: here we have great jobs, earn good money, have a comfortable life.
If we go home we would not earn half of what we make now, we would have to live with his parents until we build our house which could take two years. He would treat me differently.
The other day we were talking and he was telling me how his company is doing badly and by September he stands to loose his job. So his first reaction = we are moving back home. He told me he absolutely hates it here. He has no friends and although we have lived here nine years he has never tried to make friends. He comes home and sits on the couch all night. He said he wants to go home so he can fish and hunt with his friends and have his family around. He says if we go home now that we are young it would be easier to find jobs.
I am so upset I know that if we go back I will be unhappy. I want to stay here for a few more years and build our house and be financially sound so if we go back we can survive. Also my feeling is when you have a child your family is your wife and children. You don't want to go out and be with friends you want to spend your time as a family.
He is just so unhappy.
I don't know what to do, he says I am being selfish and living a dream. He has not spoken to me in two days and is just not being nice.
I don't know what to do, I hate to see him unhappy but at the same time I just can't deal with leaving everything I have worked so hard for.
Please help! Any advice is very welcome.





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