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[QUOTE=user0326]Rich7 , you really got me scared! I'm trying not to confront him about it because i dont want him to think i snooped and i dont want him to be embarrassed or get mad. Also I dont want him to get more secretive about it which he will do. I dont know I went on two different boards with this and some are saying hes addicted others say he is not and others are telling me im being a child about it and if its not affecting our relationship i shouldnt worry.

I grew up seeing my parents go through problems with this my father having mags,internet and tapes. I would see father looking at it on the net and then he would panic and minimize it and i saw how upset my mom was when she found this (and he eventually got into communicating with other women online and had an affair) I fear that this will happen to me and it scares me to death.

See it all started when he got on this new job and theres a lunch stand outside the job and it sells dirty mags and dvds behid the counter(this is what he told me).... all his friends were telling him about the paris dvd so he bought that(told me ) and then i guess bought the mags too at that time. Re-thinking I don't think it is an addiction at this point but i think he is getting a little toooo into it. it sounds like he tells alot of his friends about it and brings it up often so they put it on.

All my ex's had tons of it and it NEVER bothered me so i dont know why it does now. I guess its because he just never showed interest in it before and im so in love with him and we've been toghether for 4 years now and im afraid im gonna end up breaking up with him.

I also look at it too sometimes i admit it but like i said NEVER when i have him here. when i look and all it doesnt have nothing to do w/ my relationaship at all and i dont even see it as a big deal which is probably the same way he feels. but the constant talking about it the lunch incident and then TELLING me and now he thinks paris hilton is the greatest thing in the world when before "she was too skinny and not that hot"

I am gonna leave it alone for awhile and if it gets to be more frequent and more mags keep appearing then i will def have that conversation. i believe that men just get more secretive about it so yeah eventually i will break up with him.

He gets put on a new job soon so once that happens and he's away from those guys and that site i will know because if more mags or anything is bought he's obviously going to an adult store or something crazy like that and i will have a prob.

Rich thanx for your help im kinda alone on this so i will def contact you if i need to talk thanks alot[/QUOTE]

Anytime...and remember...you are not wrong for wanting him to stop it. If you do ever talk to him about it...do not let him tell you it is ok or that everyone does it....because it is not true. As many people that say that is is ok and that all men do it and to have fun with it.....THAT IS JUST CRAZY. There is a limit to everything... just think about this---- it is okay to take drugs that a doctor prescribes to you (because you are sick).... but then if you go out and buy the drugs illegally and abuse them then it is a problem!!!....Just like SEX....it is okay to have sex with someone you love and are in a relationship with----but IT IS NOT OKAY TO HAVE SEX OR WATCH SEX BETWEEN PEOPLE THAT ARE ABUSING IT"!!! There is a limit and line that can be crossed with everything....and PORN IS CROSSING THE LINE WITH SEX. Especially...when both people are not into it. And are enjoying it together----- if it leaves you feeling lonely, hurt, and just down out bad----then there is a problem. And it needs fixed---now or later. IT WILL COME UP AGAIN. So...the sooner you deal with it the better. Do not let FEAR hold you back from talking about it. It is not his surroundings that is leading him to porn...it might be part of it----but whether he is around these friends or whatever or not---he will continue.

I have a good friend that is going through couseling with her husband right now because of this crap. It is ruining their marriage. Do not let it get that far.

Best of Luck.





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