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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hey Everyone. I am new to this site today, and have come here because I am confused about my feelings toward my husband. I'm not really sure where to start. We've been together for five years and have 2 young children. I got pregnant early in our relationship, married 2 years later, and am now a stay at home mom.

I love my husband. He is a caring and wonderful person. I am not sure that I am in love with him, or that I ever was. I've never had that lust for him that I have had with old boyfriends, and have never really felt that I need to be with him to be happy.

So if I never felt like I was in love, why did I marry him? It was absolutely a foolish choice that I made, I wanted to join the military and couldn't do so as a single, unmarried mother. Soon after the wedding I got pregnant for a second time and couldn't join the military. I never once thought, going into the wedding, that I would stay married to this man.

We fight fairly regularly, maybe one real good fight every week or so, and I don't feel like we click at all. We have very little in common and we don't communicate well. But we certainly do care for each other and the happiness of our children.

I am thinking about leaving my husband. I feel like there are probably other people better suited for me than him, and that I would even be happier alone. However, I don't want to hurt him so I want to be sure before I make any decisions. I also am confused because we have children. While I don't feel that it is best to stay in any marriage solely for the sake of the children, I do feel that I should be absolutely sure this is what I want before I disrupt their lives.

We do have fun together as we both have a great sense of humor, and are physically attracted to each other. Other than that, we have almost nothing in common. He's into sports and video games and junk food. I like health food, yoga, working out, art, and philosophy. Sometimes I just don't know what I am doing with him.

I want to know how I can know for sure whether I am doing the right thing. I know I am safe here, and that my family loves me, but I don't feel I should settle. How do I know for sure if my husband is the right person for me?
How much does love matter? And how do I know if this is love?

I am interested in any opinions. Please help.

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