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Oh no I'm not mad at all, I am happy that you took the time to write your concern. Well this weekend was kinda ruff because we would talk but not talk, he would be nice and then be mean and I was actually going to leave him and take the kids on friday because of his attitude the previous night but he called me friday to ask his he could take the kids to his sister and was really nice, but it kinda piss me off that he was 'acting' nice or acted like he didn't remember acting like a moron the night before (he was drinking of course!) well on saturday his mom calls me to see how i'm doing and tell me about a new job because she thinks that if i get a new job closer to our home and with less hours it might take some stress off of the marriage and maybe we will work it out. But the whole time she was just like you need to give him some time and just take it day by day and you shouldn't leave just yet because finacially you guys can't do it alone and then she says some stuff about she's never seen her son in this bad condition because he's under sooo much stress and I just need to ease up a bit on him, and I"m like OH PLEASE in my head, he's been babied so much and he's the one drinking and choking me but I need to ease up? She like you need to be less aggressive and also telling me that her son is the easiest guy to get along with but i make it hard buy being alittle too demanding, and I'm thinking that's why we have a issue now, because you need to make him stand up for his actions. So I was alittle preeved. Well that night a male co-work (who knows i'm married and has a girlfriend) plus I put back on my wedding ring so he wldn't think i trying to suggest anything. invited me out to the movies since I was going to be home by myself. It was fun, we saw crash which really made me think about life and how short it was. plus he let me talk about my relationship but didn't say anything negative, well the next day I told my husband beacuse I believe in total honesty in a marriage and trust, even though I've kinda loss that with him in my eyes, plus i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong because if he's not hanging out with me and I don't have my friends to hang out with, who i'm I going to hang out with? and I didn't want to be miserable sitting at home with not talking. He said it was fine and that he knew I wouldn't do anything and that it was platonic, well he started being really nice to me so I just came out with it and I was like why are we doing this are you really serious about splitting up with me? and he's like I just can't do anymore i've reached my limit, and I was like that's not fair you told me you didn't believe in divorce and that you would do anything to make it work and that you wouldn't going to give up on me, just last week! and now you've reached your point? I was like we have so much against us plus the 1st two years of marriage is the hardest, we had two kids back to back, we have financial and car problems, we both never lived with the opposite sex before, I work horrible hours, we are an interracial couple and we came from different family backgrounds, my parents divorced his stayed togethre until his father's death, I was like what do you expect? I said we haven't had a chance to give our relationship a try because we have been bounced back in forth with bad stuff happening to us right off the bat. I'm like i don't want to just throw our marriage away we BOTH have things to work on and if you walk away without trying to work things about in this marriage, you'll fail at all the others because marriage is work, loving someone is work, being honest is work, living is work, but at the end of the day it's all worth it. He started crying and told me he didn't want it to come to this point but that i kept pushing him and being crazy and not okay wiht alot of stuff and that he got emotionally scarred and it got to much to bear, I do have to admitt that over the last two years (beening pregnant the whole time) I was on the deep end and went into rages when I thought he was messing up or didn't understand me. I started crying also and telling him that if he didn't love me anymore just to tell me but that I thought that he did and that we both are scarred and we need to atleast give it a try, I told him that i can move out and help pay for half of rent and utillties and that we should go to counselling also as a couple because that's somethign we really haven't did faithfully, I stated that too people with problems are never going to be able to fix a problem on their own. He told me he didn't want me to move out at all, money or no money, he's just really hurt and he just needs time to heal, and if i could just give him some time. We both have some going up to do, him maybe moreso, well the rest of that evening we actually did talk to each other and we went out with our kids to eat, it felt weird but good. The next morning he came and sleep upstairs in the bed and was really nice and we talked some more and then when we came home from work (beause I took off) he made dinner and fixed mine (that's one thing I can say is that he did every thing i used to tell him in the past, anything he would do, and if he didn't at first i would make him and he would do it and I know now that that was really wrong and that I probably took away his leadership as being the husband because I was being bossy) but I was confused, scared and he was confused, and didn't know how to properly love someone. Anyway we had dinner with our children there. Later that night we came and asked me to come downstairs because it was cooler down there. Somehow we got on the subject of our relationship and he tells me that he knows i'm a good person and that I can't help when I didn't mean things and that he's a easy person to get along with adn that he is just so scarred, he started crying and telling me that I should never let anybody make me feel bad and that he had people bully and not respect him and when he was a teenager he was tried of feeling hurt and angry and not good enough that he decided that he didn't care who anybody told him, he was good enough and that he would never let someone put him down again and that he wasn't goign to get mad easily and that I was the only person that was able to make him feel like he did years ago, but that it wasn't my fault and that I should have more confidence and that he be there for me and help me get over my parents treating bad (a whole nother can of worms) all in all we are taking it one step at a time and see where it will lead. His mom said the same thing you did that he says that no one wants to be with me because he doesn't want anybody else to have me, but it's immature and it hurts, I've called him spineless adn guttless because he lets people walk over him, including me sometimes, and I'm not happy for being mean, but at the same time his drinkning and anger has to stop, I guess well see...everyday is a new day with no mistakes in it.





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