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Relationship Health Message Board

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I don't know if any of you remember my post here from a couple of months ago pertaining to me having feelings for my boyfriend's best friend, but this is a continuation, along with a slight update on my crisis.

Let me explain this...I have been dating "Corey" for nearly two years now, and as a result of constant fighting over menial things, I tried to break up with him about a month ago. I was very intent on throwing in the towel, but it was my friend "Jerry" who convinced me otherwise. Jerry and Corey have known each other for a long time, and I actually met Jerry through dating Corey. Jerry and I talk a lot over the internet, but we never see one another or hang out or what-not. It was around the time when Corey and I began to fight stupidly that I slowly developed feelings for Jerry.

I must make this very clear to you guys: what I have is NOT a school-girl crush, nor do I only wish to sleep with Jerry. I am not interested in sexual activity - this is all from the heart, and I think I may venture so far as to say I am in love with Jerry. I used to love my boyfriend right to pieces - I believed he was Mr. Right. But after our fighting, and even now while he has one last chance to behave himself, I simply cannot love him like I once did, and that is because that particular area of my heart that once loved my boyfriend now loves Jerry.


Here is the update: in a rather indirect way, Jerry admitted he too has had feelings for me for quite a while, but he was simply trying to find the courage to tell me. Note, he did not come right out and say it, nor does he flirt with me. All he told me was that he would admit how he felt and let it go from there - he does not pine for me like I do for him. So now I am stuck.

I was considering telling Jerry how I feel, but explaining that I expect nothing in return from him - perhaps if I get this of my chest, I will gradually lose these feelings for Jerry and be able to once again love Corey. Deep down, though, I can sense that Corey and I are not destined to be. You see, Corey and I are both high school seniors (Jerry is one year older than me), and we will be graduating this June. Corey wants me to live with him over the summer, and he wants me to accept a marriage proposal. He wants us to become engaged because he is too paranoid that I will cheat on him in college. I can confidentally say that I have never once given him reason to believe that I would cheat on him, so I don't know why he feels this way.

I know Corey is insecure, and does not trust me completely. Why, I do not know...simply his demeanor.


So you guys know what's going on now, right? Let me see if I can explain it some more: I want to stay with my boyfriend because I do not want to hurt him by breaking up (I know very well he would tr to hurt himself or someone else if I left him), but I also do not want to hurt him by holding him back in life from that which he wants to achieve. I want to tell Jerry how I feel, but I seriously do not want him to waste his time on me...he says that he needs a girl like me to keep him going in this world (and he's not the kind of guy to spontaneously say such things - when he says something very profound like that, he means it), but I fear that I might make him unhappy. I also fear that he would lose his friendship with Corey.

Any and all advice would be deeply appreciated. I need all the help I can get at this point, because the heartache is going to kill me before long >.<


Dark Stranger - wishes she knew how to go about doing something without hurting everyone around her -.-

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