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hi everyone.
i have been doing ok with the whole break-up. its been a few months and my life is slowly falling back into place after basically being on hold for the years i was with my ex-boyfriend. however, i am feeling so bad right now. some histroy: for the first 6 months we were together, he was also seeing this other girl. i had no idea about it until after we had moved in together. when i found out, he broke it off with her, and told me he just had trouble ending it with her (i knew they had dated right before us, i thought they were just friends at most) and told me that they were not serious and that i was the one he was serious about and that everyone knew that (ie his family etc)... anyways, in trying to get over that, i asked him not to talk to her anymore etc, and found out several months later that he had been- i forgave him again (dumb, i know) but he told me he was just talking to her b/c she was so hurt and he was trying to make her feel better, etc... at this point things were finally going really well between us, so i didnt want to walk away b/c it seemed like there was hope. (dumb, dumb,dumb- i know i know) so for the next few months after that, things were up and down, and finally i had enough and moved out and we havent spoken since. the reason i am upset is that i just found out he had talked to her and told her basically that i was the insignificant one, and she was the one he actually wanted to be with and that breaking up with her was the biggest mistake of his life, etc..etc... i am just so hurt by this. i dont know what to think of our relationship- i guess from the way he acted he 'just wasnt that into me' but he also made it seem like he was pushing for a future together, etc. i am so pissed that he told her that i was the one he was leading on, not vice versa. i guess i am just coming to terms with the fact that he was just leading me on the whole time- or is that something he says just to make it seem like i didnt dump him? i am not sure why this matters to me, as i think he is a total sociopath, however, it hurts alot he negated our whole relationship. the only fragment of hope that i had in trying to overcome his infidelity was thinking that she was just not that important to him... i might mention at this time that he is currently 'romancing' (dating) about 5 other girls right now at the same time. so maybe he is just trying to rebuild his 'harem' of possibilities? i know things werent great between us, but he always told me that i was 'the one', etc, etc. is he trying to negate my significance to offset the fact i left him? i know it doesnt matter, and he is not worth figuring out- i just need some sort of closure. maybe i should just accept that he wasnt that into me...and just scared of being alone... the thing is that i know and his sister has told me (and werent werent even that close), that out of all of the girls he has dated, i was by far the most impressive in terms of education, looks, personality, how well we got along (when we did) etc... i apologise if this sounds egotistical at all, i am just trying to give some perspective. the other girl was nothing absolutely spectacular (quite the opposite in fact) again, i am not trying to put her down, etc, i have no will ill towards her, (please dont take this as a sarah b.esque [the bachelor]) ... thanks anyone who responds and i hope i didnt come across as sounding haughty- i just wanted to clarify that it wasnt like he was 'dating down' with me (ie. mis-matched couple)... if anyone could weigh in whether they think he is just saying this now as a coping device to protect his ego or if i was just a sucker...





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