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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]Some general questions for the board about relationships-- Any feedback would be really insightful for me as I'm sure others.--Thank you for your time in advance.

A) For those of you that have had many experiences with different relationships, what do you feel is a normal\ unavoidable amount you find arguments occur with different partners within a normal healthy long-term relationship? (7 mos or more) [/QUOTE] For everybody this would be different. There are those that argue frequently and yet have very solid marriages/relationships and those that have never had an argument at all. I think it all boils down to what you argue about & how you end up feeling as a result of it that is most important to look at. If it makes you feel bad or lesser of a person then it's probably not a healthy relationship.

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]B) For those of you who have experienced one or more long term relationship, what do you find is intolerable in a relationship and should lead to breakup because you've learned it is futile to try to resolve.[/QUOTE] Any verbal, physical, emotional abuse or controlling by one of the parties to the point that the other person's self esteem & worth is affected would be a pretty good gauge of intolerablility. In a relationship you should feel as if that person brings out your best and allows you to grow into the person you dream of being and will be supportive of that.

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]) If you consider yourself in a good relationship (and have been together for more that 6 months, how much time is spent together--eg (constantly at each other's side, living separate lives but sleeping in the same bed, together for meals and family functions but frequently separating to spend time doing other recreational activities with other friends, other..[/QUOTE] I would say that this may vary too....but in terms of dating I would say that 60% of free time with GF/BF and 40% friends/recreational activities. In a marriage it's probably more like 80% and 20% but that may vary too so long as each feels their emotional needs are being met.

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]D) Considering past relationships, do you find that it is better to wait until you're older to have a serious relationship? How old?[/QUOTE] This will vary also.....I think in your 20's after you have worked and been independently living on your own is the ideal time to enter a serious relationship. Again.....this is my personal opinion. I think that developing yourself in a strong emotional level is in your best interest as well as your partners. This will vary from person to person.

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]E) If you were in a serious relationship (imagine you truly love this person) and he\she physically assaulted you during an argument, would you call the police, leave this person, fight back, or other.[/QUOTE] I would definitely advise you to call the police and then leave the person. Of course Goody didn't take this advice herself & wish that I had in my younger days but it is the best thing you can do for yourself in terms of communicating to the other person that you do not deserve to be treated in such a way. Nobody does. :nono:

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]F) Considering past relationships, what if anything should be considered before talking the relationship to the "furthest physical\intimate level", (term used to avoid breaking board rules.), and what is the minimum amount of time one should wait before taking the relationship to this level?[/QUOTE] Again this answer will vary.....but you must realize that being physical/intimate at least to me is opening up a whole new array of must gauge if you are emotionally ready for this level and that the other person is as well in what it means. You may see it as a deep connection while the other may just view it as a physical need. Both of you should be clear as to what meaning this intimacy takes on for each of you so that you have a better understanding and avoid any misinterpretations. Most importantly, making certain that each of you take safety precautions is a must.

[QUOTE=glogreenfrog]G) What should people 25 and younger consider before committing themselves seriously to a relationship?

H) If you're married, what do you consider are major misconceptions held by single or unmarried people about getting married and being married?

I) Anything else you feel isn't discussed enough about relationships in general that would be insightful to others?[/QUOTE]

Again emotional readiness is important in any relationship especialy marriage. One major misconception people have is believing that things will change in another person if given enough time....they won't. If anything they only get worse. You only have the power to change one person & that is yourself.

Thanks for the opportunity to allow me to share. I hope some of what I did helps...Goody :wave:

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