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Relationship Health Message Board


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I'm 26, my boyfriend is 31. I've been with my bf for 4 years and throughout the entire time he's told me that I am the love of his life (and I tell him that he is mine). In January he was talking about engagement rings, then in February he tells me wants a break from our relationship. He said that he's too overwhelmed with school, graduating, getting a job, marriage. He said he's not sure that he wants to get married. He said that he doesn't want to hurt me while he works through his issues and tries to finish school.

I felt the exact same way as him and we totally agreed that a break would be good for us. Well I've been unemployed and out of school since December 2004, so I've had plenty of time to work on my personal issues and work on making our relationship better. But he's still super busy with school, his two jobs and getting therapy and other help for his problems. I'm ready to get back together with him but he isn't. He will graduate at the end of July. I asked him when he would be ready to talk about our relationship and he said that he wants to get through school first. I know he's still stressed and confused about what he wants. He keeps telling me that we are going to talk soon but we still haven't talked. And everytime I contact him, he says his head isn't clear and that he doesn't want to talk now. I know he's not ready to talk. I told him to call me when he's ready to talk. We've now gone 3 weeks without talking to each other.

Do you think I would be crazy to wait until graduation for him? I'm willing to wait, but I'm not sure if that's the best idea. I'm thinking I could handle a couple more months. There is no quick fix for a situation like this. Should I try calling him again?

OK, I can elaborate more, if necessary. I don't want to make this too long. Thanks!
welcome to the boards merry.

Okay Im a bit confused on your situation but here goes. He has a few months till graduation? Where does he go to school? Most colleges have just had graduation? Whats the deal w/that.

So you've been taking a break now for 3 weeks and no talking? Im confused you see, i've never dated or known of anyone to date someone, talk about engagement then say they need space then actually get back together? Could there be other reasons your "boyfriend" wanted to split up?

Usually most couples make it work through stress, no time, working, and school. And if you were to marry him some of these issues may not go away and you cant just take a break everytime a fork comes up in the road.

Im a fulltime student, i work fulltime and I have boyfriend/fiance fulltime. He works fulltime. So there a some days we dont even see each other, we dont live together, but we see each other when we can. We've both been stressed in the past and splitting up has never crossed my mind just to have a "break''??

If he has personal issues and was thinking about marrying you then he should be able to share these issues with you and consider talking to you about htem too ya know? It seems to me he may be loosing interest especially if he's not talking to you AT ALL. There's a problem there and I would be concerned. Whats wrong with just talking about whats new? How are things?How's school? You know small talk, why does he assume its about you two getting back together?

I'd suggest calling him and telling him your worried about the turn out of this split..goodluck





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