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Ok I'll try to make this long story short...

My boyfriend of four years broke up with me in January. He had no real "reason," just that he didn't feel the same as he used to. He insisted that we could be could be great friends when the pain wore off for both of us, and that he still loved me but in a different way, yada yada...
We have remained in contact since then, talking on the phone maybe once/week, and I've seen him a few times recently. Each time I've seen him he's made a comment about me looking 'cute' or 'nice' and hugged and kissed me, and he still says 'i love you' when we end a phone conversation. Everyone thinks that he is just going through a confusing time, and trying to focus on school. I even went to a fortune teller and, amazingly, she knew the whole story without me saying a word. Her prediction was that we would have a serious conversation some time around July 4th where he will want to get back together.
The confusing part comes in here: I started dating a friend of my friend about six weeks ago. We aren't together, just dating, but we kind of only date each other. I don't see him that often because he lives at school and comes home on the weekends. He knows my whole situation and understands that I haven't gotten over my ex, and says that he just wants to have fun with no expectations, and whatever happens he will be ok with. The fortune teller actually knew about him too, and she explained that when my ex decides to talk with me, that I won't be so quick to jump back with him because I will have feelings for the new guy. All of that makes sense because I'm starting to like him a lot.
The thing I'm worried about is this. my ex has told me repeatedly that while there is a chance we could work things out, he doesn't want me holding out hope and putting my life on hold for him. So I've been doing my own thing with the new guy...and now it's gotten to the point where we are getting 'intimate.' I can't help but worry about what my ex would think of me if I slept with the new guy. Not that he would find out but just SAY we eventually did get back together and he asked me, maybe that would change his mind about me. But that would be awfully hypocritical of him, right? I know what you're thinking...if I'm too worried about what my ex thinks then I shouldn't even be with someone else because it's not fair to the new guy...but the thing is that he understands my situation and accepts it (maybe he's crazy lol), and he is in a similar situation with his ex too. Yes, it's kind of messed up, I have to admit.

But, should I even be worried about what my ex thinks? If eventually we did get back together then that wouldn't matter to him if he really cared about me, right? And I am just doing what he told me to and trying to move on...
For some reason I am just so worried if this will hurt our future chances, meanwhile I shouldn't be expecting a future I suppose.

What do you think?
KrisDance---

First off you shouldnt give a hoot in hell what your EX thinks of you having sex with a new guy. Do you know why? Because he is your EX. You have no attachment to him what so ever. You arent cheating. You are moving on with your life. Your doing what you want to do. And if that means life without him then so be it. You dont need his permission to move on.

But if you are planning on being with this new guy then leaving him the instant your EX says "i think im willing to try again" then your being unfair, and selfish reguardless if he's aware of your situation I think if things become intimate or sex becomes involved he's going to think of this as a relationship, not just a dating and you can leave me when you EX gets his head out of his rump.

It sounds to me like you are waiting for your ex to call you up and say "im ready to be with you again, I love you, always have yada yada" Truthfully if he wanted to be with you, he wouldnt have left you to begin with. And once a relationship is split up like that the 2nd time around usually doesnt last either. Because it wasnt ment to be if it couldnt make it the first time.

If that is your plan to ditch this new guy IF you ex comes around then you should just leave this new guy alone. Your not giving him anything promising. He may be seeking a serious commited relationship while your thinking "i hope my ex calls soon".

I'd say goodbye to you Ex and leave it at that. Sure all breakups are hard, and getting over someone you've been with for so long is hard i wont deny that. But it's your best interest to move on. Besides, do you think your EX would tell you if while you were seperated how many girls he hooked up with? And how many? Not likely. Most guys would give the line..."i couldnt all i could think of was you..." and its B.S.

goodluck





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