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Relationship Health Message Board


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Is this someone you see yourself spending the rest of your life with? What I mean is, do you see him as marriage material. If not, then I would say cut your losses and move on. Someone that can turn so easily after a 20lb weight gain isn't someone I would want to be in a relationship with. I understand that being physically attracted to your partner is important, it most certainly is, but being supportive and loving is another component.

He's only putting more pressure on you and depression and stress can certainly make a weight problem even worse. I know some people say porn is acceptable in a relationship, but that is only if BOTH parties are ok with it. Some people ( men and women ) find porn to be unacceptable in a relationship. Actively seeking out porn to me is different than say casually glancing at a pretty face that walks by you. So long as it isn't oogling and it isn't done in front of you to the point of, "hey honey she's hot huh?". I notice attractive men and women. But for me even porn would be too much. Especially in this case where it is putting a strain on an already strained relationship. Some people, particularly those that are already in a state of low self esteem, will feel hurt and betrayed by that. Is that right? I don't know. It's a case by case thing.

Online dating? Profiles, that is dangerous territory. I would be more upset about this than the porn if I were because to me this indicates an emotional void in his life that he is looking to fill, rather than a purely sexual one.

The point is it hurts YOU. You can't erase that magically and he needs to know that it does hurt you. It sound like you guys need to communicate a bit more. Be prepared for the answers he may give you though. They may and most likely will hurt, but if you two can come out of it the other side stronger, then it was worth it.





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