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Ahhh what to do...?
May 17, 2005
so im in a pickle... it's driving me nuts because i can't stop thinking about it and the more i think about it the shittier i feel. here's the situation.

i met this guy i had no attraction too. over a year we became like best friends. i never ever thought of him as more than a friend and the idea of a relationship was out of the question.

then we started drinking more and more together. eventually we hooked up and started going out. straight from the beginning i was confused as to why i was doing this since i wasn't attracted to him. but we were so close and got along so well i thought maybe...

that was in the end of march. so it's been 2 months. we've actually broken up since then and gotten back together because he has issues which i wont go into because they're irrelevent to my point.

so recently i've kind of decided i really dont like him more than a friend and really dont want to be dating him because it's kind of leading him on... he really seems to like me though which is why it's so hard. but... actually that's not why it's hard. if it were this simple i could easily be like yeah i dont think we should go out... it would suck but i could do it i think.

the problem is... earlier this year while we were still just friends we decided that for next year we'd get an aprt together (since we're both in school in the same major and good friends etc) so we did that. so that's kind of the issue. i dont want to risk creating a horrible living situation. i'm afraid of his reaction is what it comes down to. he has the potential to be a huge a**hole because honestly... he really is. 1) i dont want ot lose a friend... but more of it is i dont want ot live w/ someone and have there be tension around or worse... anger/hatred etc. dont want awkwardness. i also dont want to deal with finding a new place to live etc... not that taht would be a HUGE deal since my house is 20 min off campus anyway but... the money... we'd have to find someone else to take my place first.

hopefully you can all see and understand my situation and i'm kind of just looking for what other people would do in this situation. i'm not saying im gonna go run out and do these things... i rpobably wont be influenced at all by anything anyone says... just looking for comfort i guess because i feel horrible.

i have no feelings tho. there's no attraction. there is someone else that i really do like and i feel nothing like that for my current boyfriend. in fact, this other kid that i like... i had the chance before, saw him a few times and then we just stopped talking for some reason. and i absolutely hate myself for it. for not showing more interest, not talking more.. etc. im on the quiet side. i tend to push ppl away because of it. and i hate myself for it so much.

ok sorry this was so long. im done.
[QUOTE=smokeonhorizon]so im in a pickle... it's driving me nuts because i can't stop thinking about it and the more i think about it the shittier i feel. here's the situation.

i met this guy i had no attraction too. over a year we became like best friends. i never ever thought of him as more than a friend and the idea of a relationship was out of the question.

then we started drinking more and more together. eventually we hooked up and started going out. straight from the beginning i was confused as to why i was doing this since i wasn't attracted to him. but we were so close and got along so well i thought maybe...

that was in the end of march. so it's been 2 months. we've actually broken up since then and gotten back together because he has issues which i wont go into because they're irrelevent to my point.

so recently i've kind of decided i really dont like him more than a friend and really dont want to be dating him because it's kind of leading him on... he really seems to like me though which is why it's so hard. but... actually that's not why it's hard. if it were this simple i could easily be like yeah i dont think we should go out... it would suck but i could do it i think.

the problem is... earlier this year while we were still just friends we decided that for next year we'd get an aprt together (since we're both in school in the same major and good friends etc) so we did that. so that's kind of the issue. i dont want to risk creating a horrible living situation. i'm afraid of his reaction is what it comes down to. he has the potential to be a huge a**hole because honestly... he really is. 1) i dont want ot lose a friend... but more of it is i dont want ot live w/ someone and have there be tension around or worse... anger/hatred etc. dont want awkwardness. i also dont want to deal with finding a new place to live etc... not that taht would be a HUGE deal since my house is 20 min off campus anyway but... the money... we'd have to find someone else to take my place first.

hopefully you can all see and understand my situation and i'm kind of just looking for what other people would do in this situation. i'm not saying im gonna go run out and do these things... i rpobably wont be influenced at all by anything anyone says... just looking for comfort i guess because i feel horrible.

i have no feelings tho. there's no attraction. there is someone else that i really do like and i feel nothing like that for my current boyfriend. in fact, this other kid that i like... i had the chance before, saw him a few times and then we just stopped talking for some reason. and i absolutely hate myself for it. for not showing more interest, not talking more.. etc. im on the quiet side. i tend to push ppl away because of it. and i hate myself for it so much.

ok sorry this was so long. im done.[/QUOTE]

I think you should find another roommate to live with your "friend" and that would solve a big problem right there. You don't want to remain in an uncomfortable living situation. Then you can go live at your home which is not far from campus or get another apartment with someone else.

As far as your not showing more interest in the other guy, maybe you should give him your phone number or ask him for coffee. Don't hate yourself for being on the quiet side, but just work on reaching out a little more. You never know what may have been, unless you try. ;)





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