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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I hate to say this to you, but he does NOT sound like "the one." Your boyfriend sounds very selfish and from what you have described, he is having all his needs met while you are being left in the cold. If your unhappy now, believe me it will get MUCH WORSE if you marry him and have children.
To have a good relationship, takes BOTH people treating each other with kindness, respect and often putting the other's needs ahead of their own to make the other happy. If both partners are doing this, it makes for a good relationship.
He is not doing anything that requires an effort on his part. He is only concerned with his needs being met. Now on top of that, he wants to stay home EVERY weekend and not take you out and you are the one paying for everything. You are not even married and this guy stopped dating and caring about making you happy. Believe me, the more time that goes by, the more unhappy you will be and the more you will resent what he is doing. Once you bring children into the picture, your relationship will deteriorate even more. I bet he would not lift a finger to help you with children if you did marry him. You would be the one supporting him for the most part and taking care of the kids.
I can assure you that there are enough red flags for you to get out of this relationhip.. Don't think of the amount of years you have been together, but rather the amount of years you have left in your life to live.
When you are dating someone, they put their BEST foot foward. This type of attitude on his part makes for a very bad relationship. You know deep in your heart you are not fullfilled and he is not making YOU happy. If you stay with him, I guarantee, it will only get worse.
You sound like you have everything going for you. Don't waste your life on someone that is not able to give you what you deserve in a relationship. If you stay with him, I guarantee, you will be posting again in 5 years saying how unhappy you are in a marriage and will have compounded the mistake you already made by staying in a relationship with someone that is not interested in your happiness. Please remember you can NOT change someone.
Never, ever marry someone thinking you can change them - it will not work.
Look deep into your heart and be honest. You KNOW you DESERVE so much MORE.
Good Luck.

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