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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Need help now!
May 24, 2005
I am so sorry that you're going through such a tough, uncertain time. I wish I had some magic advice that would make her forget all about every other guy and devote herself to you, but unfortunately, it's not within your control to make that happen. She has to come to decide on her own, in her own time, what she wants in a relationship and who she wants to be with. I don't think it was very nice of her to break up with you and immediately start dating someone else, but that is a pretty clear sign that she's not as committed to your relationship as you are. If you want her back anyway, my advice would be to keep doing what you're doing--show her you love her, care for her, and can make her feel special, but try not to be too clingy, needy, or dependent. Ultimately, I think you can only do so much, and that in the end, she will independently decide she either that she wants to be with you or not. But if you do your best to charm her and remind her of all the good aspects of your relationship, at least you can feel certain that you did all you could to salvage the relationship. For the most part, you've done all you can, and you just have to accept that the final decision is out of your hands...but no matter what happens, you will be okay and everything will work out for the best in the long run. I do hope things work out for you guys, as you clearly still love this girl a lot, but if they don't, please remind yourself often that it was her loss to give up on such a sweet and loving BF. Believe me, there are plenty of other girls who would be happy to snatch you up if your current GF is too blind to see what she's risking! Please try to hang in there, and be as strong and independent as possible to maximize your chances of appealing to her again. She'll be most likely to want you back if she sees that you'll be just fine without her...I know this must be really painful, but be brave and hold your head up high. You deserve a girl who will want you and love you without any doubt, and if your GF isn't that girl, then ultimately it will be for the best that she left. Remember that no matter how hard and painful it seems to lose someone at the time, there are many other fish in the sea that can make you forget all about that person if you stay positive, optimistic, and force yourself to move on and face the future. Take care and good luck! :angel:

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