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Oh, Nini.....Goody takes a little break for the opening weekend of the summer and I come to see that you have started a whole new season yourself. And your 2000th post dedicated to my cybertwin??? How appropriate!!!

Nini, first I think you ought to go a few pages back to Evy's post.....I think it was overlooked and reminds me of a post that I had delivered to you once upon a time (might not have been my 2000th one, but still I had one very similar) However, I must say that Evy delivers it so much better than Goody ever could ;) So, please go back and read it.

Second, regarding your previous post....I think FWB makes alot of good points and by reading his response I do not in anyway interpret him as closing the door to your friendship as you so quickly do....in fact I see it as remaining wide open. And I must say that alot of what he had to say is soooo true. You are alllowing your ex to drag you and your entire life down to that God forsaken pit that you have placed yourself in. Yes, Nini, YOU have placed yourself in. You do not want to get out and find every way to stay there and no way to get out. God is not going to help you so long as you don't help yourself. And now you want to do away with the only thing that you have left to enjoy???? Your music, Nini????? Now you've really done it....it's almost like you don't even see how you are your own worst enemy anymore.

Like Sophia said, FWB was only trying to help. He got to the point of seeing that you were not able to help yourself & in one last desperate effort, as your friend, he wanted to see if he could get you that closure you so need. Friends do such things, Nini, and I believe that you truly do have a friend in him. If I hadn't read his email response I wouldn't have known....but you truly do have a "real life" friend....no other person could have written such a response. Read it again.....and pretend it's not him that wrote it but Goody. What do you notice now????

Okay.....now I feel the need to address one of your quotes......

[QUOTE=Nini] Yes, you are right, I know his intentions were very good. I'm not sure myself what exactly he had in mind, just something to facilitate some kind of closure, I guess. I guess I'm humiliated by my own inability to move past this than anything else, and my ex knowing, I know he always thought I was a little too weepy and sensitive and emotional, and I just feel this gives him more ammo, like "yeah, she always was a bit of a basketcase, she's still nuts, boy I'm glad I dumped her when I did" and it just hurts like hell to know someone I loved so much is glad he's not with me. Even you saying he just wants me to fall in love with someone else, that just hurts so badly, I can't even fully explain why, it just does. All it means is that he didn't want me. I know the normal reaction should be "oh well, we dated, it didn't work, onward, next." And that's how I did my best to look at it until I found out he got married. I can't explain it, it just drives me nuts. I hate even having to be in the same world with him and his wife.[/QUOTE]

Okay, Nini....if you read this you will see just how low your self image is in the way you perceive your ex as seeing you as a pathetic, emotional basketcase. And when things didn't work out with you guys....did you really think that he should not go on to get married??? Nini, many of us have loved here and watched those we love go on to marry others. However, life goes on and we do not punish ourselves by remaining dormant and weighed down because things just didn't work out with the one that we wanted. We learn to move on, to accept the fact that it just won't be, and to take the time to heal and learn from the experience in order to find something better and to love again. But you just can't seem to allow yourself the freedom to do so. It's almost as if you have the mindset that if things didn't work out with him then you do not deserve another chance at love or a life of happiness. You have been the martyr too long, Nini. It's time to do what Evy says & come up with the advice that you would give that women that she describes in her post. I think you should really sit down and write a post to that woman. And then I want you to realize that that woman needs to take your advice......for in the end, when it comes to the advice offered here, we take it all in and we don't listen to anybody but ourselves. It's the strength within us that will guide us in the end. And so Nini, you have always asked how do you do this.....the point is that you can get all sorts of advice here but you will only listen to yourself in the end. If your mind is telling you that you can't go anywhere from here then you won't. But if your inner strength pulls you up enough to listen to the mind of reason, you will see that the only way out is the will to go on and the faith to make things better in your life. And Goody can't do it or any of your friends here, even your real life friend FWB can't do it. Only Nini can do it!!!

Like Ruth's Aunt Bette.....you can make your life "count" whether you are married or single. But you will never do it stuck with your ex. You must learn to move on before anything really counts. And I know that you will be able to if you only have as much faith in yourself as all your friends here do. But we are not the ones who will do it.....the only one that can do it is YOU.


(((((HUGS)))))) ~ Goody :wave:





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