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Relationship Health Message Board

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ok, this is the first time I have posted and I have a major relationship issue so I decided to go for it and post. Here's what's up.

I was with this guy for 6 1/2 years--we were engaged and everything. Problem is, for 4 of those years, he was in the Navy and so we barely saw eachother. Last July we finally decided to end it b/c the long distance became too hard. Soon after, I discovered that he was married and I had an STD (genital warts....and that's a whole issue in itself) I was horrified and completely devestated and heartbroken because he oviously betrayed me. Anyway, so this whole year I've been dating, healing and moving on but the whole time I never talked to him and assumed he was happy, evil and completely moved on from me. I went back to my home town this weekend to visit (also his hometown, we were high school sweethearts) and I ran into a mutal friend of ours and was told my ex's marriage was on the verge of divorce. I finally decided to get ahold of him myself to get the real story. I needed some answers, I never knew the details of what happened and I felt that if I could have the answers, I could finally have closure and then finally move on.

So I contacted him and we ended up talking on the phone and then he ended up coming over. He basically told me that his marriage was completely on the rocks and that he was getting a divorce AND he wanted me back. I was shocked...this whole year I led myself to believe that he could care less about me and that he was happy. He told me that a few weeks after we were broken up, he was so devasted he kinda went with the first girl who gave him attention, and within 2-3 weeks of knowing her, she proposed, and they got married--and supposedly he's regretted it ever since b/c he never stopped loving me. I guess he will be getting a divorce this Tuesday....and I went back to Seattle today--and he hasn't called. I told him flat out that he has really hurt me....that if we were to ever get back together, he'd have to get a divorce, completely cut her out of his light, and he'd had to pursue me--and it could take years to do so and there's no gurantee--he said ok, whatever it takes (basically, I am paraphrasing). So anyway....I dont know what to do. I am scared he is going to hurt me again, I dont want to end up being the "other" woman--that's just sick and wrong. But seeing him again it felt can't explain it really. I felt a real connection there, like old times. Ideally, I want to make it work cause I know in my heart of hearts that thats what I want--yet that's what I am scared of. Divorces are messing things, he's not going to do this instantly, nor am I really ready to. I guess my question is---what's really going on here? And, what should I do? I never expected this to happen. Is he trustworthy? It's like I want to believe in the good of this situation, yet I can't fully...*sigh*.....


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