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Thank you for the response blueeyelady. His mom and step dad didnt raise him to think he had to give them money. Infact he doesnt just hand them money for the heck of it, only when it is asked for. His mom and step dad both work fulltime and are both a form of manager. You'd think good pay where is the problem well their checks are being garnished for old loans that is.

We in a sense have to go through pre-marital counsiling, i was born and raised catholic so we will be married ina church and one of the requirments is pre-marital meetings with the priest for a few months leading up to marriage. That will help I think reguarding the issue. You know when he didnt live at home his mom and stuff wernt bothering him for cash.

I dont know if you have ever heard of check and cash places that give you money and you pay them back by pay day? But his parents use them as yeah another reason why they are "behind" because they cant get ahead of that now either. And my boyfriend paid it off for them this past christmas that was their gift no more check and cash...what did they do, go sign up for another one! I just dont understand where the money goes sometimes. I look around and I just dont see it.

Cattieos, thanks for the response as well. He knew of one of the credit cards that his parents had. They signed him up for a second without telling him. All I can think is they have been getting these warning letters for months on end without making a payment and didnt bring it to his attention until the threat of going to court came. Made him and I both sick. His mom asked him if he was going to take her to court and he told her of course not. She told him she'd have it paid off within a year, I told him that was impossible. He agree'd so i told him to just make sure they are making the monthly payments and then some to try and get it taken care of. He later told them that he wants them to start paying as much as they can as quick as they can because he doesnt want this to screw up anything for us.

As for him with money he is great with it. Pays all bills on time, has his own vechical (newer) pays for the payments on his own, insurance on his own, cell phone bill on his own, he's bought me a few gifts such as rings, earrings ect on his own, he doesnt even use credit cards because he knows of the mess they can get one into...and go figure his parents took care of that for him. He's responsible with money which is shocking. He always said he didnt grow up with much and he doesnt want to live the way he had to grow up. So I think he has it in his head to stay away from it. He even said that is the main reason he isnt going to college he's just going to join a police acadamy or something, because he doesnt want to go then have it fail on him and be stuck with student loans.

Misstee--I am careful about how i talk to him about it. I picked him up from his parents the night he heard the bad news. We got in the car and he told me. I asked him right away "did you make them cancel the credit cards? Because I can see as soon as there is space they will use it, I dont want to leave them high and dry, but this isnt right" We talked about it. And he knows I think his family is great, just not when it comes to money and cleanliness and he knows it too.

He doesnt have a strong bond with his mother either. Infact once I finish school he wants to move to the same state his real dad lives in. His dad is encouraging it of course because I think he knows what is going on.

I agree with what a couple of you said, there is just sheer lazyness here, I cannot deny that. I too work fulltime, even though I live at home still I find time to do the basics, what is so hard about that?

He told me not to say anything to anyone about this, especially my parents because he didnt want them to worry about what could happen in our future. He asked me in the past before all of these issues "how do you want to handle money once we are married?" I told I'd like us to each have our own account then one joint account for bills, food ect...then our own accounts can be for "play" money so to speak.

Thanks for all the great advice, Ive been debating about posting this for the longest time but i just had to, the idea was eating away at my stomach.
Since the mail is being opened by his parents, you may also trying going the mail fraud route, opening someone elses mail is a federal offense. I don't think your bf would go that far, I think I would though! Has your bf not had his mail forwarded yet? I think that would be something to do ASAP!
I dont' see anyway the cards could get paid off in a year, I dont' know what the interest rates are, or the exact amount, but i think I heard that it takes like 5 or 10 yeras to pay off 5,000 if you only make the monthly payments.
those credit counseling places talk to the credit card companies and get them to lower the amounts. I am not sure exactly how it works, but the credit card companies soemtimes do it because they realize that is the only way they will get their money.
I am not familar with a based on income thing for a house, but I would guess that means they don't own it.
I really think that your bf does need to make sure he prints out a credit report every week. Especially since it seems they are openign accounts quiet frequently.
I sure hope all this works out for you, I hate that his parents have done this.
As a last result, he could file for bankrupcy. I mean, I don't know how much the amount is, but sometimes it is better, it's drastic I know, but at least it would get him out from under all this, and on the bright side, his parents would have to take back everything they bought with the cards!
thanks again cattieos. I did the math today on the amount that I seen that he owes and it was about 8 or 9 years!!! So Im going to talk to him about it again soon. I dont want to constantly remind him about what has happened and make him feel like crap but we got things we have coming up. We are getting married in just over a year.

The income based living means they probably arent paying too much to live there, but your are right it means they do not own it. My boyfriend moved back into his parents place not even two weeks ago so he could "save" money for a trip we are going on and for our wedding...he said he will start looking for a house in november/december. But I already figure it will be me asking for the loan with one of my parents as a co-signer.

tiggergirl- I already know that it will happen where they do not deposit that money into his account. He'll get an overdraft statement and that will be his fine as well. But I have it in my head that the first day that happens I will get on his case and tell him that he MUST do something about this, because this effects our future not theirs. He wont go to any extreme with his parents he already feels bad for them (i know stupid they should feel ashamed of themselves). I'd like to see them get a checking account set up themselves.

I dont think the credit card companies are gonna give a rip who maxed out the cards, they just want their money that is rightfully owed. I know it ticks you off, imagine my poor guts haha. I want to ring their necks!

Blueeyedlady, thanks again, I do not think my boyfriend will do anything drastic like this to his parents. I am going to suggest to them that they start paying more though otherwise this debt will last several years over 5 for sure. I was doing the math and i was thinking 200/month should be about right this way it can get done in just over 3years although I am not sure of the interest rates like mentioned above 200 is better then 80. Especially since they owe so much.

I plan on talking more about this with him as time goes on. i really want to see this get cleared up faster. It makes me sick because I just made reservations today for our the other costs are coming and it's like....great no help from his family for sure.

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