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[COLOR=RoyalBlue][FONT=Georgia] :rolleyes: Hello all.

Well I am having an issue. My boyfriends/fiance's parents. Mom and stepdad to be exact have a real issue with managing money. My boyfriend moved out of their place over a year ago and go an apartment with a buddy of his, the BEST move he could have ever made because his parents were always asking for 20 here, 50 there 10 here ect... Once he moved out that habit basically ended. His lease recently ended and he decided he'd move back home to save money since we have a trip coming up with some friends in june, and we are getting married in about a year. So this leaves time to save.

Then a few nights before he moved home his parents only vechical was repo'd and come to find out they had a couple credit cards out there in my boyfriends name, both of which are maxed and one threatening to take him to court. He just finds out once the threat letter came and freaks at the amount (i wont disclose but its under 10k more then 5k). They went and had something set up so payments will be made...okay now my b/f is upset that his credit is ruined, cant blame him!

And now that he's home his family is using his suv. He has filled it twice now and both time they use it and bring it back under 1/2 a tank! It's making me sick watching his family basically take advantage of him. I told him the other night that It's driving me crazy and I feel so bad that he had to move back home. I like his family I think they are great. But im getting discusted at how things are working now that he's home.

They offered him 10 or 20 for gas the other night and he said "no i cant take it i feel bad taking your money" !!!! WHAT? I wanted to tell him *the had no problem using yours without your knowledge*

I know its not really my spot to say much, but I am getting married to him, and his parents screwing with his credit and maybe ruining our chance of getting a loan for a house or something else in the future does affect me! Granted they arent having him pay rent to stay there, they are living in a place where rent is based on income so it cant be that bad.

I just feel so annoyed about this. His mom doesnt really make an effort to do much. Right now she works and then sits on the computer till its bedtime, then its the same routein over and over again. She's attached to some videogame for the computer right now, her mother is coming to stay with them tomorrow!! And their house is a mess. Dishes arent cleaned, bathroom is gross...honestly none of them try to keep the place clean. The only time it was cleaned b4 was my boyfriend cleaning it b4 I was "allowed" over because he was so embarassed.

What do i do?? I love this guy, and Im not going to leave him because of his families mistakes but how can I make him see that what they are doing to him is wrong, and he shouldnt feel bad about taking money from then when the offer now a days. They owe him soooo much, its not like my b/f is made of money. His real dad has even said it himself...he's too good hearted and aiming to please that people take advantage of him and hurt him. And he knows where I must be coming from. He is coming to town tomorrow as well and im hoping my b/f tells him about the debt his mom and stepdad got him into and talks to him about it.

Otherwise my stomach is going to keep turning until we get married and get him out of that place...[/FONT][/COLOR]
Thank you for the response blueeyelady. His mom and step dad didnt raise him to think he had to give them money. Infact he doesnt just hand them money for the heck of it, only when it is asked for. His mom and step dad both work fulltime and are both a form of manager. You'd think good pay where is the problem well their checks are being garnished for old loans...school loans that is.

We in a sense have to go through pre-marital counsiling, i was born and raised catholic so we will be married ina church and one of the requirments is pre-marital meetings with the priest for a few months leading up to marriage. That will help I think reguarding the issue. You know when he didnt live at home his mom and stuff wernt bothering him for cash.

I dont know if you have ever heard of check and cash places that give you money and you pay them back by pay day? But his parents use them as well...so yeah another reason why they are "behind" because they cant get ahead of that now either. And my boyfriend paid it off for them this past christmas that was their gift no more check and cash...what did they do, go sign up for another one! I just dont understand where the money goes sometimes. I look around and I just dont see it.

Cattieos, thanks for the response as well. He knew of one of the credit cards that his parents had. They signed him up for a second without telling him. All I can think is they have been getting these warning letters for months on end without making a payment and didnt bring it to his attention until the threat of going to court came. Made him and I both sick. His mom asked him if he was going to take her to court and he told her of course not. She told him she'd have it paid off within a year, I told him that was impossible. He agree'd so i told him to just make sure they are making the monthly payments and then some to try and get it taken care of. He later told them that he wants them to start paying as much as they can as quick as they can because he doesnt want this to screw up anything for us.

As for him with money he is great with it. Pays all bills on time, has his own vechical (newer) pays for the payments on his own, insurance on his own, cell phone bill on his own, he's bought me a few gifts such as rings, earrings ect on his own, he doesnt even use credit cards because he knows of the mess they can get one into...and go figure his parents took care of that for him. He's responsible with money which is shocking. He always said he didnt grow up with much and he doesnt want to live the way he had to grow up. So I think he has it in his head to stay away from it. He even said that is the main reason he isnt going to college he's just going to join a police acadamy or something, because he doesnt want to go then have it fail on him and be stuck with student loans.

Misstee--I am careful about how i talk to him about it. I picked him up from his parents the night he heard the bad news. We got in the car and he told me. I asked him right away "did you make them cancel the credit cards? Because I can see as soon as there is space they will use it, I dont want to leave them high and dry, but this isnt right" We talked about it. And he knows I think his family is great, just not when it comes to money and cleanliness and he knows it too.

He doesnt have a strong bond with his mother either. Infact once I finish school he wants to move to the same state his real dad lives in. His dad is encouraging it of course because I think he knows what is going on.

I agree with what a couple of you said, there is just sheer lazyness here, I cannot deny that. I too work fulltime, even though I live at home still I find time to do the basics, what is so hard about that?

He told me not to say anything to anyone about this, especially my parents because he didnt want them to worry about what could happen in our future. He asked me in the past before all of these issues "how do you want to handle money once we are married?" I told I'd like us to each have our own account then one joint account for bills, food ect...then our own accounts can be for "play" money so to speak.

Thanks for all the great advice, Ive been debating about posting this for the longest time but i just had to, the idea was eating away at my stomach.





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