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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi folks,

Well I need opinions. I'll be short and sweet. I'm 32 and my bf is 41 yrs old. He was married for 5 yrs. which was 5 yrs ago (he has no kids-either do I: I wasn't ever married). We have been dating for 1 1/2 yrs and living together. In the middle of this, I bought a condo and we have been fixing it up (I bought b/c I didn't want to crowd him b/c he technically never asked me to move in). We have always gotten along, spent lots of time together and really never fought. When we started hitting about the 9 month mark though, I startecd questioning why he never gave compliments, no I love you's and cards. I knew he loved me but was more of a laid back guy (also thought he was hurt b/c his wife left him for another guy and the last girl walked out on him).

Anyway, we were close to being done with my condo and I knew it would be hard to just move out (a reverse move-at 1/2 yrs people usually move in together). We also started counseling like 2 months ago and went for 3 times. I never in a million years thought my bf would just pull this need time and space bit, but he has. THis past Memorial Day weekend we were suppoed to go away to his friends beach house and he ended up going away for the weekend without me. When I tried to call, he just said he needed some time. Yesterday when I really spoke to him (after he started dropping of my belongings) he said that he had felt crowded in his house and now likes it being alone. I told him he need dto continue going back to counselor b/c these were not our problems, but his alone.

[COLOR=Sienna]MY QUESTION IS: [/COLOR] I have agreed to give him a week though I know we should spend more alone apart. I did however want a boundary set such as : no dating and maybe a set time to meet back. Have any of you ever done this, did you set up time and boundaries and did it work???????? I know there is no particular time that someone can predict, but if he's not breaking up with me, don't I have the right to kind of know how long he might take? I also found out from his friend that the last girlfriend he had who dumped and used him, got married this past weekend. I never suspected that they were still in contact, but could he be hurting from this? ANd would he let it affect us? (I 'm not sure though that he truly knows she got married). I guess I'm dying here and I keep racking my brains and just want to get on with life. I am trying to live my life without weeping all over the place, but I'm in limbo b/c is he only taking time to really break up with me--is that really what time is about? Or do men truly sometimes take time to realize that they need their girlfriends.

[B]Also, if you took a break-how long was it?[/B] :confused: Please help-I can;t believe this is happening to me.

Lynne





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