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:o
Hi folks,

I posted a few days ago in a message about my BF of 1 1/2 yrs suddently wanting a break. Thanks so much for replies (especially Ruth and Scruffy). Some of you said to move out of the house or have him move out of my house, but see I was in his house until we fixed up my condo enough for me to move in. Anyway, I moved out on my own (1st time at 32-yikes). I haven't called in 5 days but he still has tools over my condo and 1/2 my clothing is still over there (which makes me believe that he doesn't want a complete split). At this rate, I would just like it either to be FULLY over, or start to work things out, but I know I can't just "hang on". He mentioned 5 days ago that in a week, we would meet to see what we wanted and I just HOPE it hasn't been a week for him to just "phase "me out. If you're a man, be a man and just say what you want. When I asked him, if he wanted to see other people or even continue this relationship he said he thought so, but was just so confused. I truly believe it could be the event of a past GF getting married who rejected him, but I also think the fact that he lost his parents only at age 18 and he's 41-he just ne er got over the depression.

I do admit we moved into soon and we didn't even mean to. We never had the "dating stage", so maybe me on my own will be good. At this point, I know he will probably call to come over to fix the other 2 million little things he never got around to.

Last week he did that, fixed the closet, etc, etc, and left with no mention of situation. It's tough b/c I don't want to deny him this project since he built my whole condo over but if he truly wants it over, call it a day, pick up your tools and why keep calling to fix a little thing one day, the other the next day and then walk out of the house like a fix it man and not acknolwedge we have a MAJOR situation going on. WEIRD!!

Anyway, I did ask if any of you have ever taken breaks and had them work? Just wondering if anyone did? How long? Also, if you take a break should you solidify the dating scene? Also, how do you know if a man is being a coward in telling you goodbye or has needs legitimate time to think a confusing situation over?

THanks,
Lynne
Hi Danilynn,

Well take this for what you will.

Im 22 and my girlfriend of 3 years and I said we were going to go on a week break so that I could get my head straight as to what I wanted out of my relationship. Upon leaving her house, I started balling and soon realized that being on a break was absoultluy pointless. Perhaps your situation may be different but we had problems and knew what needed to be done so instead of taking time off and thinking about it, I came back to her that night and we are now working things out. For me, I wanted to go on a break to think but as soon as we were "broken" all i could think about was her and how unhappy I was for being away from here.

Also in regards to solidifing dating scene, I would make it clear what both of your intentions are for the time your apart as you may have completely different views.

Sounds to me like he's confused and he may need time but also he might be unknowingly pushing the two of you apart so that you can't get closer... I think I was guilty of that in my relationship... fear of commitment.

I don't know if this helps at all, good luck.

[QUOTE=danilynn72]:o
Hi folks,

I posted a few days ago in a message about my BF of 1 1/2 yrs suddently wanting a break. Thanks so much for replies (especially Ruth and Scruffy). Some of you said to move out of the house or have him move out of my house, but see I was in his house until we fixed up my condo enough for me to move in. Anyway, I moved out on my own (1st time at 32-yikes). I haven't called in 5 days but he still has tools over my condo and 1/2 my clothing is still over there (which makes me believe that he doesn't want a complete split). At this rate, I would just like it either to be FULLY over, or start to work things out, but I know I can't just "hang on". He mentioned 5 days ago that in a week, we would meet to see what we wanted and I just HOPE it hasn't been a week for him to just "phase "me out. If you're a man, be a man and just say what you want. When I asked him, if he wanted to see other people or even continue this relationship he said he thought so, but was just so confused. I truly believe it could be the event of a past GF getting married who rejected him, but I also think the fact that he lost his parents only at age 18 and he's 41-he just ne er got over the depression.

I do admit we moved into soon and we didn't even mean to. We never had the "dating stage", so maybe me on my own will be good. At this point, I know he will probably call to come over to fix the other 2 million little things he never got around to.

Last week he did that, fixed the closet, etc, etc, and left with no mention of situation. It's tough b/c I don't want to deny him this project since he built my whole condo over but if he truly wants it over, call it a day, pick up your tools and why keep calling to fix a little thing one day, the other the next day and then walk out of the house like a fix it man and not acknolwedge we have a MAJOR situation going on. WEIRD!!

Anyway, I did ask if any of you have ever taken breaks and had them work? Just wondering if anyone did? How long? Also, if you take a break should you solidify the dating scene? Also, how do you know if a man is being a coward in telling you goodbye or has needs legitimate time to think a confusing situation over?

THanks,
Lynne[/QUOTE]





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